It seems my post about Isabelle’s issues didn’t convey what I meant it to! We do not believe Belle is autistic. We think she, given enough time and intervention, will catch up. Most days I am encouraged and can shrug off what the developmental pediatrician had to say about Isabelle. But some days I just have to admit my fears, my sorrow at what might or might not happen in Isabelle’s future. Sometimes I look at her and wonder “Why can’t she say ‘daddy’?” or “Why does she freak out when we go to the doctor’s office?” It is then that I find great comfort in things like that simple story, a reminder that no matter what delays Isabelle might have, she was made purposefully. She is beautiful in her imperfection. She is perfect for us.
Let me tell you why that is why the story touched me so. I hope that this will bring you support and comfort and not pain.
When we go to the park and people look at LiLi, it is hard. Sometimes they stare and look at me and I know that they have question and don’t say anything out of “being polite.” I have heard things come out of peoples’ mouths this past nine month that would make your jaw drop. The funny thing is that LiLi PWS is cosmetic – not deadly. My son has HED a disorder that makes him unable to sweat and living in GA – well, need I say more? People just see him as the perfect pot and LiLi as the cracked vessel. Both my children are perfect for “our” family and we love them both. Soon, we hope to travel to China again and we hope and pray that we will find our other daughter among the “special needs” children. I know how sometimes we just need to express those fears and I hope that you find support within this community of adoptive parents. I guess what I am saying is that no child – bio or adoptive – is perfect. We just have to love them as best we can. You obviously love all your children very much and want the best for them. I will pray for your family and little Isabelle, she has traveled down a very hard road for such a tiny tot and yet she always has the happiest of smiles! She is a blessing!
In closing – remember that God will never give you something you cannot handle.
Debbie
Chinese Proverb:
There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.
Well, I guess that you have more that one 🙂
Thanks for the update! I’d love to chat with you sometime and compare notes about Isabelle and Gwen. Email me and we can swap phone numbers (if you’re okay with that)!
:::big hugs:::
Donna
Stefanie, many of the things that you have discribed with Isabelle, are things that Alenna does also. For Daddy she says “NaNa”, she HATES doctors and is so busy I am still spinning at the end of the day. But, she is just perfect to us:) I know that Isabelle will be fine. Christy
Stefanie,
In my e-mail I forgot to recommend a book that I bet you would like called “Growing Girls” by Jeanne Marie Laskas. She’s a columnist for the Washington Post and also writes for Ladies’ Home Journal and Reader’s Digest. Anyway, in the book she writes with humor and sensitivity about her daughter Sasha’s adoption from China and her speech delays. She also wrote “Fifty Acres and a Poodle” about her marriage and move to a farm, and “The Exact Same Moon”, when she talks about the adoption of their oldest daughter, Anna. I bet “Growing Girls” would make you smile!
Hang in there! Eileen Beck