We’re still not- so- patiently waiting for TA to travel for our Vivienne. It has been 255 days since we first saw her face, and not one of those days has gone by that I have not thought of her, prayed for her. We hope to travel before the end of the year, before Christmas. Just the thought of seeing her, of holding her… fills me with happiness. With anticipation. With joy. I am so so excited.
She will turn 2 on November 1. And she is firmly entrenched in life surrounded by a foster family… a wonderful foster family. And while we are counting the days to her, she is most definitely not counting to days to us.
How she will have to say goodbye to the only mama she has ever known.
How she will have to leave her homeland, the traditions, the customs, the people who look so reassuringly familiar.
I expect our first few days together to be filled with grief, tears and sadness. And I am so so scared.**
I don’t know everything about adoption, that’s for sure. But I know enough to know there is no way to completely prepare for what lies ahead for Vivi and me on that day we meet in the Civil Affairs office. I know enough to know that no matter how well her foster mother prepares her (and I pray she does!) that Vivi will be terrified. I know enough to know that adoption is inherently filled with sadness and loss. And that even though we know Vivi is going to be loved, cherished and part of our family forever, she doesn’t know that.
But I also know enough to know that there is One who is capable of filling all voids and healing all wounds. One who can bridge that expansive distance between where we will be on that day we meet and where we will be one day, some day, in the future.
Between stranger and beloved.
Between orphan and daughter.
Between temporary and permanence.
Between sorrow and joy.
And I look to Him for all those things on that day in Civil Affairs. And every day after that.
**Any advice y’all have for a woman preparing to travel alone to China to bring home a spirited toddler is most appreciated 😉