My first glimpse of Esther.
But her name was Ava. Our agency had given her that name on their photolisting. I have always loved the name Ava, but it was that face.
Those pouty lips.
She stayed with me.
I have shared our story to Esther. It was admittedly hard to write, but I really, really wanted to remember everything God had done to bring her home.
And I am so glad I wrote it out so carefully. My goal in being so diligent was to bring glory to God and all He had done. And now having it, while it will always remind me of God showing up in our lives like never before, it is also so very comforting to me. Because it’s all about God and Esther.
I don’t want to ever forget all the details of how He brought her into our lives. Fighting for her transformed my understanding of who God is and how intimately involved in our lives He is. And how deeply He loves us.
We weren’t able to change her life. But she absolutely changed ours.
And as hard as it was to have to share here, in front of everyone, that we’d lost our girl, I am so glad I had shared my heart for her here.
Because y’all got to know her. And her little fighting spirit, and cherubic face will be carried in your hearts, too.
I have asked God, “Why?” countless times in the last week. Because y’all, I fell so, so hard for Esther. Please understand, loving Esther does not diminish how I feel about Poppy or any of my kiddos… any mama with more than one child can attest to that.
But there was just something about Esther. Even my husband, who really takes a while to warm up to anyone, much less a photo of a little one halfway around the world, was positively taken by her.
Maybe it was because her heart condition was very serious and we were acutely aware of how much she would need a family to come for her soon. She needed us.
Maybe it was because she was just so ridiculously cute, with that little curled ear and those precious pouty lips.
Maybe it was because we had to fight, so incredibly hard, to be her mama and baba, that each victory God put into our hands made her just that much more real to us.
Maybe it was because in asking ourselves, over and over – at every new “battle” – if we were sure Esther was ours… we were positively convinced she was.
Maybe it was because God wanted to plant her in our hearts for eternity.
Maybe He wants her to be carried by us. To make a mark on our hearts, so that we might find a way to honor her. Fight a little harder. Love a little deeper. And give a whole lot more of ourselves.
If you would like to participate in Sunday Snapshot this week, feel free to link up below.
Just copy the code under the Snapshot button and paste it into the body of your Snapshot post where you’d like the button to be displayed.
When you hit ‘publish’ it should show up just fine. Then add your link below.
Wondering what the heck Sunday Snapshot is? Visit here for the details.
Happy Sunday, y’all.