husbands and wives

disclaimer: I am a Christ-following, stay-at-home mama. So, it would naturally follow that this post is written from the perspective of a Christ-following, stay-at-home mama. My goal here is to encourage, and to help others who are struggling. This is simply my opinion, from lessons I’ve learned on this journey called life. I am not a professional, nor do I play one on TV.

If you don’t want to hear my thoughts on adoption, marriage and sex, stop reading now.

Otherwise, let’s do this thing.

A question I hear frequently is, “How can I get my husband to agree to adopt?”

Which I guess shouldn’t be a big surprise because, well… my husband did say yes. Seven times.

But he has said no many, many more times than that.

Each and every no was for me.

But each yes? Those were for God.

And, thankfully, my husband knew the difference.



I didn’t just come to this realization overnight. It has been a long road for me, from a time of being almost blinded by a longing, to fully understanding and choosing to embrace God’s plan for my life. I have struggled with the sadness and frustration at what seemed to be an insurmountable impasse in our relationship:

I wanted to bring home another child.

He absolutely, positively did not.

While there is no magic wand, I do believe that there are some things that a wife can do to facilitate her husband in fully evaluating a potential adoption.

If you’ve found yourself in this spot – wanting to adopt but your husband does not – I’m guessing that in this struggle the waters at your house got muddied a bit. And I say this from first-hand, been-there-done-that experience. But with certain hindrances moved aside, you both might be surprised by his answer. Please be mindful though, the goal here is not to convince a husband to do something he is not feeling lead to do. But it might possibly be the outcome.

I encourage any woman feeling burdened with a desire to adopt to put her passion into action. If it’s eating you up inside, do something about it! Even if your husband is adamantly disagreeing, there are several things you can do to ease this longing.

1. Examine your spiritual walk.

Have you been spending a good bit of time with Him? Or is your Bible gathering dust? Are you going to God with your feelings? Are you praying not only for this burden on your heart, but for His leading? Be certain that you give yourself adequate time to pray, and to listen, to be very clear that this desire to adopt is from Him, and not simply a desire to add to your family through adoption. Might you be feeling called to do some volunteer work for the orphan? Sponsor a child? Advocate for those who wait?

Choosing to adopt a child is a monumental decision that involves not only you and your husband, but your children at home, as well as this potential future child. As a Christian, it is imperative to check all decisions through the Big Guy… but one of this magnitude especially.

Once you’re sure that this desire isn’t going to go gently into that good night, keep on praying. All the time. Write yourself notes and place them in your house to remind you during the day to give this process over to Him. If He lays a verse on your heart, write it out and memorize it. Pray for your heart, your husband’s heart. And that God – who established marriage as the uniting of two people into one – will unify you and your husband.

Don’t doubt that the God who created the universe can change your husband’s heart, if it is indeed His will.



The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD; He directs it like a watercourse wherever He pleases.

~ Proverbs 21:1


2. Examine your relationships.

Who – after the Big Guy – is number one to you? When your heart is hurting, who is on your speed dial? I hope the answer to this question is your husband, but if you’re like I was not too long ago, the answer is probably a sister or a big-hearted girlfriend. Often, as women, we turn to the people most likely to understand us, which is often another female. But in sharing with others instead of our husbands, we lose that intimacy that God intended for a husband and wife. We slowly disconnect when we share parts of ourselves with others instead of our husbands… until it doesn’t seem so natural to share our heart with him anymore.

I encourage you to wholeheartedly share everything with your husband. Make a date with him.  Ask him to set aside some time on a Saturday to sit down with you, after the kids are in bed, to just talk. And if you’re burdened with a desire to adopt, then naturally, you’d share that along with anything else you’ve got on your heart. Be certain that your intentions are purely to share, though. And while you don’t expect him to solve anything, ask that he simply listen. Resist the desire to over-share by praying over the things that you want to bring to your husband before sitting down with him. And once you’ve given him the information, let it be. Don’t look for a reaction from him or you probably be disappointed. Try to share with him like you would a girlfriend… not trying to convince, just unburdening your heart.

It took me years to come to this realization. During one especially difficult period for me – in which I felt like my husband not only didn’t understand me, but didn’t want to understand me – God opened my eyes to the fact that every time a child captured me, or an abandonment story made me cry, or a desperate adoption situation touched my heart, instead of turning to my husband, I was turning to my girlfriends.. who understood. But how could I expect him to know me, to understand, if I didn’t share with him exactly what was going on in my heart?

Once I began to share with him, with a desire to simply let him in on all that burdened me, our relationship changed. If I read a story and the Holy Spirit nudged me, I’d email him the link. If I saw a picture that spoke to my heart, I’d send it to him, or print it out and show him. I am blessed with a wonderful husband, who tries his best to be there for me, but I can assure you that sitting and listening to me talk about the orphan crisis isn’t his first choice for an evening together. Eventually though, once he understood my goal was to open myself up to him, he began to ask questions. Often we’d pray for these kiddos… for protection, for health, and to find their forever families. And somehow, that really did make me feel better. Not just because I was able to unburden my heart, but because we were becoming more connected. And together, through prayer, we were doing something. And as I began to feel unburdened, and understood, I found that the resentment and frustration that has been building silently inside me began to melt away.

And I realized that I didn’t need him to say yes to me. I just needed him to understand me.


3. Examine your household.

How does your house run? Really?

Are you able to, for the most part, manage your house well? If the answer is “yes”, then good for you! Pat yourself on the back and skip the next few paragraphs. But if the answer is a resounding “no”, or you’re not quite sure how to answer, or you want to say yes, but you know you’d be lying, then I encourage you to take a few minutes today – and look around. Where is there room for improvement? If you put that emotional energy you have into action, you might be very surprised with the result. Use it as motivation to work harder to keep your home maintained, and to even set the bar higher for yourself. If your husband comes home to a chaotic home every night, he’s not likely to dream of adding another child, which inherently includes more chaos, into the mix.

This dawned on me a few years ago, as we were considering beginning the paperwork to adopt our 7th child. Although it was heavy on my heart, another adoption felt completely overwhelming. So, since my husband was reluctant – and so was I! – I decided to up my game. I rolled up my sleeves to see just how efficiently I could manage our home. I needed to answer my own questions…. Could I really do more? Could I manage my kiddos at home even better and add another child? Could I take more of the burden off Chris’ shoulders so that he could be freed up to enjoy more downtime at home?

I was determined that it was in no one’s best interest to adopt again if I could not be sure that I could do it, and that I was ready to do it.

The result was quite surprising. As much as I thought I was doing before, somehow I was able to do more. And the more I did it, the easier it became. I liken it to working out (except this didn’t do much for my behind) in that the more you do it, the better you get and the more it becomes a habit. Before, I’d let Chris bathe the kids at night, after he came home from work. But this left little time for the two of us before bedtime. So I began to bathe the kids in the early evening, before he came home. Also, I planned further in advance for dinner time. I tried to, as much as possible, have dinner on the table when he got home from work. This allowed us to have some relaxed downtime with the kids before bedtime, and then, once they were in bed, we were able to spend some time together, alone.

I also tried to do more things around the house… things I might have put on my honey-do list before. I didn’t get crazy but, fixing a squeaky door here and putting in a new air filter there, I was surprised at how easily I could fit these things into my day. The result was a much shorter of a list for my husband to tackle on the evenings and weekends. And that meant a less stressed, more relaxed, happier husband.

All of this effort resulted in a whole new normal for us. I’ve been able to maintain this for the most part, even though now we have brought four more little ones home. In my effort to determine if I could run my home more efficiently, I realized that not only could I, but that everyone would benefit from my effort, including myself.

And let me reiterate that I am just a regular mom. Flawed in so many ways. And God just simply blesses my efforts, like I know He will bless yours. The payoff has really been huge, not only for Chris and my relationship, but for our family as a whole.


4. Examine your marriage.

Notice I said “marriage”and not “husband”. This is a two-person commitment and above all things, you must be equally committed to bringing a child into your family. Adoption is a huge undertaking, one filled with numerous blessings, but that can also be challenging and oh-so taxing. Don’t underestimate the toll it can take – in the early weeks and months especially.

And now for a whopper… how is your sex life? If you’re like most women, it’s not a priority to you. And, I’m not gonna lie, my knee-jerk reaction is the same. I don’t give it a whole lot of thought.

BUT.

You should. It’s something I’m working on, and I believe God wants me to understand fully what a significant role this plays in a marriage. If I expect my husband to sit down with me, making time to talk about what is on my heart, I should also try to understand his needs as well. Men and women are, for the most part, simply wired differently. And as important as it is to you to feel loved and understood, that is how important it is to your man to have his needs met. If you can’t make time for him as often as you want him to make time for you, I encourage you to reconsider your priorities. As Christian women, it’s our job to honor God and honor our husbands… and then take care of everything else. And when we honor God, well, it’s just a really good thing in every way. Spending that kind of time with yo’ man is an investment in time and energy that yields some amazing relational results.

Seriously.


So, the real answer to the question, “How can I get my husband to agree to adopt?” is this:

You can’t.

Nor should you want to. Okay, you might want to. But that really wouldn’t be a good thing. If you focus on the work at hand – your relationship with the Lord, your relationship with your husband and your work at and around the home – then, even if another child is not what your future holds, you, your marriage and your family will be immeasurably blessed.

Promise.

“Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don’t be afraid or discouraged by the size of the task, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.” ~ 1 Chronicles 28:20


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Comments

  1. Love this! And even though I only know you through the www, LOVE you and your willingness to share your family.

  2. Wow!!!! What an encouraging post! I LOVE this!

  3. Kristina says:

    Love!! I read a similar post on another blog about 2 years ago. At the time we had 2 bio children & my husband was DONE (always a wonderful daddy & loves his kids like crazy, but done). Now our 1st China doll is home & we have a LID for our son in China we are not matched with yet. Oh and we started paperwork for our son before we traveled for our daughter. God still moves mountains & changes hearts!!! Definitely all God… I couldn’t have even dreamt this story up! Great post!!! Thank you for sharing!!!

  4. This post is incredible, thank you for being open enough to allow God to speak through you to other families…beautifully written!

  5. Very, very wise, except I would say that this applies to adding another child period, biological or adoption. Very wise advice.

  6. Good read! I am not Christian and my family is at its limit but I believe it’s a huge decision for many of the reasons you cite. For those of us who
    wish to do more and are moved by the mere thought of an orphanage, a birth family who has to choose or the like, we CAN all do something. Advocate, sponsor, volunteer, mission work, etc. Not everyone’s finances or lifestyle will support adoption or repeated adoptions but are moved to make a difference.

  7. On the sex side…..I read a book that encouraged the couples to schedule sex AND have spur of the moment. He also asked us to, before saying no right away. Ask your husband for 10 min. Then go in the BR and shave spritz and brush teeth. You won’t believe how much better that makes you feel. Allow the communication between your spouse and you to be open about what you want. Tell him, “really only in the mood for a quickie, but I am game if you are” Doubtful he will ever say no thank you. tee hee Then later you may reward him with a sit down dinner kind of sex. Thanks so much for opening up about such a delicate area. You are da bomb.

  8. This is a wonderful post and what you write about can apply to so many aspects of life. I especially love your discussion on household management. “Be strong and courageous, and do the work.” Wonderful advice!

    As long as we are discussing delicate topics, I often wonder how couples manage their sex lives when co-sleeping with newly adopted children.. Some children spend many months in their parents’ bed. As nice as it is for the children’s attachment, what does this do to the closeness of a marriage. Do you perhaps keep a futon set up in the basement for private time together?

    • purposely anon says:

      sex doesn’t have to happen only in bed…
      (counter top, floor, inside a car, shower, couch, oh the options are almost limitless)

  9. I LOVE this Stefanie! You totally rock the BIG posts! Really.

    I have to say though, my husband had to talk ME into the second adoption, and what needs does he need to meet for me??!! ;) Heh!
    No really, I so didn’t make him buy me a diamond ring! …maybe a camera lens!! Ha! Totally kidding of course!!

    Of course, I was and am VERY happily on board, I’m glad my husband is that man – that’s one of the things I absolutely love about him! However, when he suggested another adoption after we were home just one month… I absolutely did gave him the stink eye!! :)

    You’re the best.
    Jill

  10. this is amazing advice- no matter how your heart longs to add to your family. :-) i am going to be bookmarking this post to read again in the future (when my heart needs reminders!)

  11. Thanks for sharing, Stefanie! :)

  12. Wow! This was a really great post! Very convicting, too. Thanks! I appreciate your wisdom and advice.

  13. Oh girl…did you crawl inside my heart and head this week??? I have had my heart completely wrapped around a special little one with China Little Flower. I’ve loved her since her first pic at 2 weeks and now she’s 7 months and will have her file prepared soon. I’d go get her in a nanosecond and not even think twice or look back. I’ve talked to my husband about it and he tells me he loves me, he loves my heart, he thinks she’s really sweet, what a blessing her heart surgery was successful…but no. It makes me so sad and even more crazy, embarrassed. I mean seriously, I have 7 kids! Though I try, I am not the most patient of mothers. My children are busy, two of them have SN, this little one has Down’s Syndrome. My husband says and I agree that at some point you have to be done and there will always be another child you could bring home and love.

    Going over your points, some of them I’m good as gold, and a few I am dreadful. I have another friend that suggested that I simply pray for her family and if it’s mine, he’ll move the mountain, but the selfish, human me doesn’t want to hear “no” from Him either. I love my husband he is my BEST friend, I love my family, I want to do what God wants me to do, I want to be TRULY happy and satified, I want this little princess to have the best of homes and I’m not gonna lie, I want that home to be mine. Yep…I’m a mess. Thank you Stefanie for sharing, and being spot on honest.

  14. Thank you, oh so much, for sharing your heart. Your words spoke directly to my heart! Thank you!

  15. I absolutely LOVED this. My husband has said yes- we are just patiently waiting now. But my-oh-my! EVERY wife can benefit from the wisdom you shared in this post! You have definitely encouraged me to step-up my game…simply because my husband and family are worth it! Thanks for sharing your heart! xoxo!!

  16. purposely anon says:

    I’d also like to add that while yes, men and women, have different needs (the argument of women being more cerebral and men being more physical), it would also help if the men helped the women *feel* sexy and beautiful and desired. It doesn’t have to be much, an insinuating touch, a look, a brush of the lips behind the ears and a whisper… that can help the juices flowing too.

    …also sexy underwear can do wonders… for oneself.

    If you feel sexy, if you feel beautiful, if you feel like you have a little special spice within yourself, you will exude that sassiness and your man will pick up on it, even if you don’t say anything.

  17. Amen! Well said. Every single word. :)

  18. Right on target for where I am in life! We’ve just returned home in April after our firs adoption and my heart is saying one more! My husband loves this new life with four kids and wants to enjoy this a little more before considering another. I am being patient to his thoughts, but I will also be implementing your suggestion to “up your game” at home! Thanks for taking the time! Loved this!!!

  19. Stef…you nailed it. I AM a professional and I agree with it all. You are a very wise woman.

    This will be so helpful to so many people.

  20. Wow – great post! This is just good ol marriage advise, adopting or not. My heart feels a bit humbled so I must have needed to hear some of that!

  21. JENNIFER says:

    Thanks, I soo needed this talk!

  22. Awesome post! Thank you!!!!! We are in the process for our fourth adoption ( china) and there was a period where I really felt as if my husband wasn’t going to feel on board. I love the honesty in your post.

  23. Morning Stef – I’ve been waiting to have time to get thoughts together! I’m also breaking the “guy barrier” on this one – but what else is new! Frankly – I think many guys read your blog – but don’ have the hutzpah to comment!

    Thoughts – I’m a “reluctant husband” – just so you know.

    Well – I was for adoption #1.

    But my bride Marie was a reluctant mom on #2.

    And for #3? We took turns – really – we did!

    What you have written here is simply brilliant! You captured everything – from a woman’s perspective – but if I may add.

    Men and women ARE wired differently – but on many levels…

    If a man “takes a position” – the harder you push for a change of position the more “entrenched” he is likely to become – until the discussion or “issue” becomes about “willingness to change” instead of the original topic. Don’t forget that about men – we can get “off topic” in a minute! Ease off – put it out there – and we eventually will consider and ponder and think (and maybe even pray!!), and eventually we’ll come to our decision. But then it’s make and done – at least for a while. We too reserve the right to change our mind when we are ready too!

    Absolutly communicate with each other. The real reason we were in our 40’s when we started adopting was because the thought of adopting children had never crossed my mind! We men tend to be “doers” – busy with kids, scouts, sports, projects, work, etc. When we DO take time to think about things, we are frequently thinking about less esoteric things like adoption and more about man’s simple inhumanity – and maybe even how God does (or more correcly doesn’t) fit into that. Once one of the kids asked me why we had never adopted – well – that started the conversation and 10 months later Brianna was home. All because no one had mentioned it to me…and I hadn’t thought about it myself. I guess there’s a comment or two about me in all of that – but heh – I can deal with it!

    And finally, we guys tend to be insecure in our relationships, and kids threaten that too, because they take time away from our relationship with our wife, and maybe even add a source of disagreement (on granular stuff like what school / sport / bedtime / etc). that’s why I’ve said for years it is WAY easier to be a Dad in my 40’s (now 50’s) than it was in my 20’s!! Just be sensitive to that – we’ll get better – but we’ll be scared about it!

    Brilliant Stef!

    hugs – aus and co.

    • Is it just me, or does Aus rock?! :) We are all so lucky, no scratch that, to be blessed by his peeking in on our conversations around the adoption bloggy-sphere. Even on delicate topics such as this.

      Great post, Stef. And thanks, Aus, for being brave enough to “break the barrier” of gender :)

  24. Amen!!!! Very encouraging…thank you!

  25. Great post! Lots of good truths to ponder. :)

  26. Teresa Morgan says:

    Well said!!

    Wives might also want to watch on how they spend money when considering adoption. I think a big concern in deciding to adopt is financial with a man’s perspective.

    Also, I, like many others, have been in this situation. My husband was not wanting to adopt, but being a man of God. he did say that he would pray about it. He said that this subject could not become a source of conflict between us. I knew that might just be where God wanted me, at a point that I would surrender and have faith that God’s will would be done. We didn’t really talk about it again, although I always thought about it. About five months later, God had worked on my husband’s heart–he said that everywhere he turned, adoption was front and center! We brought our little girl home from China in December 2011 and know that she was hand-picked from God to be in our family!! I am so glad that this is our story–had he just said “yes” from the beginning, I wouldn’t have been able to see the power of prayer and how God can change hearts!

  27. Stephanie! What a great post!! I KNOW that took some time to think out and write down…and what a sensitive subject! But that was amazing! All the points well covered in a simple straight forward way. I have sooooo many people ask me about this or at least voice that this is an issue. Thank you for writing this and doing it so beautifully. Definitely an anointed post from the Lord! I am sharing this on facebook with a few folks that have mentioned this issue. Great post!!

  28. You had a similar post around the time last year when I was trying to convince my husband we should adopt again. And I took your advice, and I waited and I examined myself, and our home and let him come to his own answers.

    And while the last year has been heartbreaking, and hard, and full of ups and downs, and we still are waiting for that precious little one to appear, we are waiting. It will happen. Somewhere on the other side of the world a child is waiting for us, just as we are waiting for them.

  29. I am a single mom of 2 beautiful girls from China that I adopted on my own so this does not apply to be but I have to say, “bravo”. It is amazing and refreshing in this day and age to read something like this. I love your site and your beautiful family.

  30. This was awesome!! Thanks so much for sharing your valuable wisdom!

  31. Did I mention I let my husband read your post… oh man…!! ;)

  32. Dawn B. says:

    Bravo Stefanie!! Just what I needed to hear on sooo many levels. Thank you so much for sharing your life and thoughts. You are an inspiration!!!!!

  33. Hi Stefanie…..it’s Stefanie…. ;) I don’t comment on blogs much anymore…..but clearly I was led to read this today…..and all I can say is BRAVO…..just coming back from Africa I have been humbled right to my knee’s……I have found a child in Ethiopia…..met her, hugged her, kissed her, played with her……and I love her with all my heart. While my husband has not said yes he has also not said no……..we are praying, I am praying…….and I know if it is God’s will it will happen.

    Marriage needs constant attention, it needs to be Christ centered…..sadly we get so busy some times…..it is not easy. Family life……not easy……I don’t have quite as many as you living in my home but I have 5……and 3 adult children to attend to as well. We make mistakes…..and hopefully we the help of our Lord…..move on and learn from them.

    Thank you so much for this post…….so many of these things go through my mind on a daily basis……perhaps I will get back to blogging again one day……in the mean time I/we plan to serve some amazing ministires in Africa…..and if God willing……bring home another older child.

    In Christ…..
    Steffie

  34. What I see is not only you making your marriage work but showing your kids how to make a marriage work. How mom/dad does not have to do what would be considered mom/dad roles. As a single woman, I do the things you wrote about, change a filter…if I don’t do it who will? Sweep the garage? Well it’s my garage, my house and most certainly, my mess! Take the car in for an oil change, again my car. Love that message that sends to your girls. If Mom could do it so can I! Well said.

    And love your family. Have to admit Miss Tallula has stolen my heart. She could not be cuter.

  35. What a wonderful post!!! You covered every aspect!!! I have been married almost 28 years ( in August ) and with 6 kids ranging from 7-29 years old.. Quiet time is not always easy lol We make a point that at 7:00pm every night (unless one of us is out of town) we hang in our room. We watch a movie, Tv show, talk, share ideas and sometimes play a little Xbox lol but no matter what we spend time together. It has always been my priority to make time for each of my children and my husband. If I can’t make time for those in my life at the moment how in the world could I add another to my family.

  36. Thanks Stephanie! What great advice! I suppose I could use some work in each area. As things stand now, my husband is home more than me (I’m working full time this summer and hope to get a full time teaching job soon). He works construction and we’re in an area where there’s not a lot of it going on right now. Anyway, I’d say I need to work on my relationship with God. I could certainly work on my household (and money) management skills (we only have 1 child so far… a bio 9 month old). I also need to talk to my husband more than I do (and listen more). The sex thing made me feel a bit guilty (I even teared up a bit). It’s definitely not a priority for me (plus I’m still nursing our daughter). So, bottom line… I suppose I need to work on everything else before I worry about anything else. :-) Thanks for putting all of that out there. Now I just have to DO it.

  37. I’m with you to the point where you say sex isn’t a priority for most women. I don’t think that that’s true at all. We may be quieter with our desires but we still have them! It’s my experience that most women enjoy and seek out sex, unless they’ve been conditioned to believe that those desires are sinful or wrong or abnormal, and it saddens me to see a blog that I enjoy or admire perpetrating the myth that women don’t or shouldn’t care about sex. I felt moved to comment, sorry if you find this out of line.

    Everything else in this post is spot on, though!

  38. To all women out there…..from the perspective of a 37-year-old virgin……PLEASE don’t take sex for granted. PLEASE care about and put a lot of thought into your sex life with your husband. PLEASE see it as a gift and something to be cherished. PLEASE pursue it and enjoy it. PLEASE don’t complain about it as if it were a nagging cold and talk about it as if it’s not “all that.” PLEASE appreciate it. PLEASE love your husband in this special way. PLEASE. Seriously. The end.

  39. This is one of the best articles you have written, Stephanie. I deeply appreciate your candor and insightfulness. You clearly write from the perspective of wanting to use your experience and thoughts to help others. It resonated with such truth and humbleness. I appreciate all that you share of your life to help others, particularly your struggles, your pains, and your challenges. It is through these shared struggles that we see how your faith has evolved, and it is through your shared faith and wisdom that helps all of us.
    Blessings and thanks to you, Stephanie, for a well thought out and well shared article!

  40. LOVE this post!! I just found it and am so glad I did! I have wanted to adopt for years. We had gone so far as to apply to an agency. We were all set to adopt a Waiting Child from China. But after a dinner with friends who have adopted children with serious attachment disorder, my husband said he was not ready. And truthfully, he had said yes because he knew I wanted it so badly. While honestly, I did not want my husband to say yes to adoption unless he felt God calling us to adopt, this was very hard for me. And it was hard for moths. We many heated discussions about it where I had hoped that he would see it my way. I was sure God was calling us to adopt. But after too long of trying my way. I just took it back to God. I had to let go of my desire to adopt and give it to HIM, knowing that if it were truly HIS will, my husband would also know that too, not in my time, but in God’s time. Since then, I have had a great deal of peace about it. And you know what, my husband is more open to adoption. while we are no where close to starting the process, I am hopeful that it will happen and prayign and waiting on the Lord!

  41. I’m crying my eyes out here! I was clicking around searching china adoptions and landed here… This post is just what I needed to read! I can’t even get a whole thought out of my head to type! For nearly 15 years now I’ve wanted to adopt from China. I had two little girls in my preschool class who were adopt from china and their families were cgracious enough to share their stories and I got to be a big part of their journey being the first person they were dropped off with for child care… Anyhow! I’ve always been vocal about my desire to adopt and then when I kept getting pregnant… Well that got put on hold. And with SUPRISE I was pregnant with #’s 5&6. I thought my dream was over… The pregnancy was rough… A very long story, but we got to hold our Anne as she was ushered into heaven. Having to work though Jillian and her NICU journey and small issues, I was focused on her and the kids, and still thinking that my dream of my china baby was over… We had too many kids. And then this summer I heard about special needs adoptions!!! My heart soared! I’ve been trying to get this out of my head and focusing on my own kids… My husband… Crafts… Anything! I was just certain this wasn’t going to work! The money! Oh my goodness! I’ve been keeping this to myself and journaling

  42. Oops! I hit something! Anyhow!!! I brought it up to my hubby last night and he didn’t shoot me down right away! he said some passing comment about how now wasn’t a good time, but when is it really ever the RIGHT time? Anyhow! I feel so much better with him knowing what’s on my heart and I’m sure he’ll think about it more… I just have to be patient. I could use the practice right?

    All that to say thank you for this post!!!!

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