Yesterday was Velvet’s last day. She’d started out the week okay, eating occasional bits of steak and eggs, and a slice of American cheese, her all-time favorite treat, when she felt like it.
But yesterday was bad. Not eating. Not drinking. Vomiting.
The realization came suddenly, late in the afternoon. I knew it was time. Unfortunately, that didn’t make the drive to the vet any easier.
She had advanced lymphoma, the vet surmised. And her swollen lymph nodes were affecting her ability to breathe. He agreed – it was time.
Sometimes love means doing the last thing your heart wants to do.
She went relatively peacefully. So grateful to everyone who prayed for her, it took three sticks to find a vein that wouldn’t collapse. An old dog has old veins, I guess.
And that quickly, she was gone. Honestly, it took my breath away. Death is so terrifyingly final.
We wrapped her up and brought her home.
I’d struggled with whether to bury her or cremate her. But when we were offered any spot on the property to bury our girl, we thought she’d like to stay here best. It was her final home.
The exact location was tough, though. There are so many beautiful trees on the property. My first thought was of the gorgeous sugar maple in Poet’s pasture. It turns the most spectacular yellow in the fall. Then I thought maybe under a dogwood – my favorite tree. Or one of the beautiful magnolias.
Then I remembered Velvet’s birthday – November 17th. And I thought that I’d taken a picture of Poet by the sugar maple decked in yellow some time in November. But I didn’t have time to check. I hadn’t planned on yesterday being *the day*. And the day was fading fast.
So we dug. And dug. Hard work is good for the soul, and somehow it made me feel like I was doing something for her. One final thing.
We buried her in her favorite blanket. We threw flowers into her grave. We made cards – by each of the kids especially for her – and each child said a few words about her as they dropped their card on top.
Then we held hands and prayed that God would take care of her. And that we would learn from her example of unconditional love, to love each other better.
I didn’t sleep well. I worried all night that we hadn’t buried her deep enough, put enough bricks on top to protect her from coyotes, or that somehow she was cold and lonely out there all alone. In fact, after I got the big kids off to school, I crawled back into bed and didn’t get up until the little girls woke up at 8:45.
When I finally got up for the day I was thinking, again, about where I’d chosen to bury her. And wondered how close to her birthday of November 17th the sugar maple, under which she is buried, will be it’s most glorious.
I looked back to see when I’d posted the picture of Poet standing in front of it, in all it’s splendor.
November 16th.
It felt like an assuring hug from the Lord that I had chosen the right place to lay our beloved girl.
Rest well, little warrior.
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. — Revelation 21:4
Lisa says
I’m so sorry. Tears here. I
Krista says
I am not a commenter. I am more of “I should have a look at this amazing blog, smile at the beautiful photography and laugh out loud at your amazing sense of humor” person. But today I needed to tell you that my heart is breaking for you and yours. I know this pain all to well, I lived it when we said goodbye to our much loved Tucker.
I like to imagine that he and Velvet and all of our other beloved four legged friends are making all of thr angels smile.
Sharon Long says
I am so sorry Stefanie, Velvet was so special.
Lisa s says
Crying!! So hard to say goodbye to a soul that means so much….shows unconditional love and offers so much to their family! May you find comfort in her pictures and your memories! Sending a big (((HUG))) from one animal lover to another!!
Aileen says
This was such a beautiful post. *Tears* I love dogs so much, they are such amazing souls who come to bless us and teach us about love. My own dog has been one of the biggest blessings of my life. Praying for you…and Velvet, even though I know she’s so happy now in Heaven where she really belongs. So true what you said in the last post about love being so hard sometimes. Sending love and hugs your way.
Dana says
I’m so very sorry.
Ruthie says
I’m so sorry. That is so hard to do. Hugs <3
Shawn says
So sorry about the loss of your sweet Velvet. Cried my way through your post….very sweet. I love that the Lord gave you the final gift of knowing you buried her in the right place.
Life with Kaish says
I am so sorry Stefanie. I will pray you will feel God’s comfort. I think you picked a beautiful location for Velvet.
Lisa says
Why is the right thing to do so hard sometimes? Tears for all of you. And prayers for peace.
Di says
So sorry to hear about Velvet! May the maple bloom more gloriously this year!
Michelle Sharp says
Your post made me cry. What a beautful tribute to Velvet. Thinking of your family today.
Cara H says
Praise God for caring about every little thing that pokes and prods our sensitive hearts. Love this post. xo
Kimberlie says
Stephanie,
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved pet. I had the terrible responsibility of deciding when it was time to say “good-bye” to my husband’s last cat. Zulu was one of three black cats (brothers from the same litter) that Paul had taken in back in April 1994. The week that my husband died (July 10, 2012), Zulu seemed to know. His health turned. I prayed, “please God don’t let Zulu die so soon” because he was a favorite of several of my children. He only lived two more months, but at least it was a little longer. It’s funny because, when you talked about your children only knowing Velvet when she was a bit old and cranky, that’s how Zulu was. He’s was cantankerous even for a cat. But they loved him. It’s hard, so hard, to hold a pet as they die in your arms. It was like losing my husband all over again.
I will pray for you! Hugs!!
Sammie says
Dogs are defeinetly part of the family and when you lose them there is a hole. They love so darn unconditionaly and so totaly they just put a smile on your face even on the hardest day. I’m so glad she was a part of your family and even in her leaving she is teaching your kids about how you say good bye to the things you love.
Big Hug
Anna says
I am so sad to read this. I just got my first dog last year and I’m 30! I can’t imagine what it will be like to go through what you’re going though. I hope I’m strong enough and sensible enough. Hugs and prayers to you and your family.
Michelle says
I am so sorry! I know how hard it is to say good bye to our beloved pets. My thoughts are with you!!
Meg says
I am crying reading this as your love for your pet is so open and our family just experienced this same loss three weeks ago. I will never forget the look on my husbands face as he drove out of our driveway with our 13 year old dog on his lap. I had the kids all bundled up for a walk in the snow to distract us a bit from the empty house. We ran into a neighbor and had to explain why all of us were crying. It is truly a hard thing to do but once we actually did it we did feel some peace. My husband had to shovel tons of snow just to get to the ground to make her spot. The kids all watched and we tucked her favorite toys in her paws and wraped her in her blanket. We were all so emotionally exhausted we slept the afternoon away.
Your pictures of your sweet Velvet make me cry. What a special dog and a wonderful way to honor her memory with your photos.
Prayers,
Meghan
Karen says
I know how difficult your decision was. Your post is so beautifully written……I am sobbing uncontrollably….I am so sorry for your loss. Prayers……
Patricia/NYC says
Oh Stephanie, I am so very sorry. {{{HUGS}}}
Missy says
I’m so sorry. You never forget how much you loved them and they loved you. Denail passed away over two years ago and I still have her last vet bills in the kitchen junk basket. Can’t throw them away. She was our special girl. I honestly think a dog is one of the best things you can give your children.
Judi says
So sorry. We have “been there” too many times in the past couple of years as our pets have gotten older just as our children have. We lost a kitty just before Christmas and know the pain there is in losing a furry family member. Thinking and praying for you and all the kiddos. May your memories be sweet and comforting.
Tami says
So sorry Stef for your loss of Velvet. I haven’t commented lately, but have kept tabs on your wonderful family. When we lost our beloved Sawyer suddenly, a friend gave me this ‘story’. You’ve probably read this, but just in case you haven’t…..it’s beautiful, and it gave me some measure of comfort in our heartbreak. I hope it does the same for you. Pets give us such unconditional love….who know exactly how it will be like, but I can only believe that our Heavenly Father would reunite us with our beloved furry family members….
Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….
Author unknown…
Sandra Taylor says
I’ve been there before and it is no fun. I’m very sorry for your loss.
Ally says
I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful post and tribute to your Velvet
Her final resting place seems so perfect , Gods hand is in everything !
Love and hugs to you all
Diana says
Stefanie,
What a beautiful goodbye to your faithful friend!! My prayer is that Caymus was waiting for her.. And that today they are enjoying the endless supply of treats in Heaven!! I know how hard it is to let them go.. I miss my raven friend beauty every day!! I am so happy you took those special pictures!!
Hugs,
Diana
Angie says
Hugs and prayers this is so hard!
Erin says
So sorry for your loss. So very hard to have to say goodbye to a faithful pet. Beautiful writings about her last day and wonderful pictures from the week. Thinking about you all.
Lindsy says
Sweet picture of your kids with Velvet. I love all the hugging, leaning, loving that’s going on.
Aus says
Stef and family – so sorry for your loss – freqeuntly the “right thing” is also the “hardest thing” – no easy but true, and the final kindness to a beloved friend is always hard…time will help – but the memories will always remain.
hugs – aus and co.
Dawn says
Sorry for your loss. Hugs to you, Stefanie. I had to put Cooper down too from lymphoma. Velvet is now having a wonderful time running and playing with other doggies in heaven being watched over by the angels. Hugs.
snekcip says
Truly sorry for the loss of your beloved Velvet. This was a beautiful tribute to a precious fur baby that was obviously loved beyond measure.
Toryjeff says
Oh Stefanie….What a sad day for you and your Family! The love Velvet felt from all of you is very calming! She is in Heaven with Jesus watching over all of you now spreading the word of all the joy you all gave her throughout her life! With all the animal we have loved so dearly I have learned to love this poem:
The Rainbow Bridge
inspired by a Norse legend
By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,
Is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.
Where the friends of man and woman do run,
When their time on earth is over and done.
For here, between this world and the next,
Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.
On this golden land, they wait and they play,
Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.
No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,
For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.
Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,
Their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.
They romp through the grass, without even a care,
Until one day they start, and sniff at the air.
All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back,
Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.
For just at that instant, their eyes have met;
Together again, both person and pet.
So they run to each other, these friends from long past,
The time of their parting is over at last.
The sadness they felt while they were apart,
Has turned into joy once more in each heart.
They embrace with a love that will last forever,
And then, side-by-side, they cross over… together.
One day all of you will meet her again at the Rainbow Brigde!
Dena says
Crying for you!
Our sweet Jack, Pebbles, is 13 and slowing down.
I can’t write any more.
Annie says
Tears my sweet friend! What a lovely tribute to your faithful, loving friend! Love you Stef!
kristi says
Sigh.
I’ve been there.
And making that decision is one of the worst and hardest ever.
My heart is hurting for you and your family, but especially you.
Love how you were able to find that confirmation of *the right tree.*
God is so good in the midst of our pain.
Praying for your heart…
Kelleyn says
So sorry for your loss!
Kelly says
Just 1 day prior to your loss we lost our beloved best friend doggie as well. I am struggling to stop crying. I am so sorry for your loss. Check out our girl on our blog if you get a moment. Lets hope our 2 are together and pain free! Kelly (fellow adoptive Mama and fellow dog lover)
Kelly says
http://2bigkidsinlovebuildafamilytolove.blogspot.com/
C Mae says
I’ve been a follower a long time and never really comment till today. It was so hard reading this post. Your words seriously moved me to tears. I don’t have children of my own, but I am a mother to my fur baby (dog). As sad as the experience is, your words are so comforting to me. God Bless Velvet and the happy memories your family shares with her.
Karen says
I am so sorry. May your loving memories of Velvet help heal your hearts at this time of loss.
Betty K says
What a beautiful post. You brought me to tears. Velvet was so blessed to have been loved by all of you.
Love and hugs to you, Stephanie!