This is our earliest picture of Shepherd. Tiny little thing, isn’t he? And he looks so scared 🙁 He was found at 2 days old ‘by the roadside’ behind a market. As inconceivable as this sounds, it is common practice for babies to be abandonded near a road so that the child has a good likelihood of being found quickly. And considering that he was abandoned in November, I can only assume the weather was not suitable for a newborn to be left alone outside for any amount of time. I am just so grateful he was found.
My heart breaks when I think of his parents, specifically his mother. As a mother of four biological children, I find it hard to fathom carrying a baby for 9 months and NOT developing some sort of attachment, intended or not. I imagine her giving birth… first seeing his precious face, then… surprise! A boy!! And last… his feet. Clubbed. Deformed. I imagine her heart sank. I think of the disappointment that must have filled the room full of family members who might have been there for the birth. New to the world, taking his first brave breaths, and already deemed ‘imperfect’.
Thank the Lord for His perfect plan. We can’t wait to hold him. To welcome him with arms wide open. To tell him how perfectly PERFECT he is. To tell him that he is God’s creation: fearfully and wonderfully made. How God has picked us to be his family and how blessed we feel to be chosen for such an honor.
Psalm 139:1-16
O LORD, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my every thought when far away. You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment you know where I am. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, LORD. You both precede and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to know!
I can never escape from your spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the place of the dead, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me. I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night – but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are both alike to you. You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous – and how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
Hi!
I feel the very same way…so much sadness and disappointment in the way our children were left but for us, so much joy and anticipation in holding them for the first time, seeing them smile for the first time and treasuring them all the more because of who they are. Loving their “imperfectness” because it is perfect to us.
Like you, I can’t wait to finally be with our son!!!
Tammy M.
Prince Edward Island, Canada
It is so sad and heartbreaking to think about, yet that was all part of God’s plan–His perfect plan.
I am glad you have little Shepherd’s finding ad. I hope the promise he has for his future will help erase the pain of knowing what his first few months have been like.
Praying the day you hold him will be soon!
Lisa
You are so lucky to have found each other! God is good!
I think it is amazing that even as a tiny baby boy was left behind a market somewhere in China… God knew that a family somewhere in the U.S. would bring that baby home!! He protected Shepherd, kept him warm that cold day and brought someone to find and take pity on him. Every event in little Shepherd’s life was orchestrated to bring him to his forever family. It’s a comforting thought to know that for the rest of us who wait to find our children, God has each little one in His hand and He WILL lead us to them.
Blessings,
Rebecca
Oh he’s so adorable!
What a hard beginning. I’m so glad that Shepherd will soon be a part of a loving family.
Charity
Psalm 139! That’s all I can say with a lump in my throat…Psalm 139!
Psalm 139! With a lump in my throat that’s all I can say…Psalm 139!
You are SO right, Laine! Psalm 139 says it perfectly 🙂
I just read Psalm 139 after seeing the Ferrill’s comment…I’m crying now…WOW!!!
Looking forward to following your union with Shepherd!
My God look at his little face, those big eyes…
I am speechless, and can’t imagine what it was like for his family, his mother. Have you read China Ghosts yet?Do do do… I read it in 3 days.
I can’t wait to see you holding him :O)
What a beautiful tribute you wrote to your little boy. Getting a finding ad is a wonderful, yet heartbreaking, piece of our children’s history and I know that you treasure every bit that you have. Can’t wait to see this little guy in your arms!
I know how you feel — Bennett’s parents kept him for FOUR months. I know she was breastfeeding him and having so much fun with him, because he is such a smiley guy. I think of her often.
Catherine was left at just 3 weeks… the difference between a girl and a boy in China is painfully evident.
And oh how beautifully woven together he was!!
This verse was read to me just 2 days ago (I’ve read it many, many times before), and it really touched me in a profound way. I was going to put it on my blog…and I came to your blog first…and there it was AGAIN! Love it!
The Lord has His hand on our precious little ones so far away.
What a beautiful post! I am sitting here in awe of how God works.
Tammy
Ugh, I struggle with this. The scripture is the only thing that brings me comfort. My whole self aches for Hannah’s bio mom and dad, she is so delightful, how blessed is everyone around her. I pray daily for them and for us as we raise her. Such an opportunity certainly mixed with responsibility.
Thanks for posting this. Ijust can’t wait to see you with your gorgeous little boy in your arms, he is darling!
heather
Wow!… I just read psalm 139 too… amazing how God will use certain situations to enlighten us.. thank your for that..
umm.. he is so stinkin adorable in his little finding ad pic.. does the guy take a bad photo?lol
🙂
Amie
I’m sure i’ve posted before to tell you how much I love your blog. I have such a heart for adoption…it’s amazing the difference you’ve made in your kids’ lives! This post was great – I felt the same about Eli when we saw his feet – nothing but joy, even in a slight ‘imperfection’ that others might be disappointed in.
Question for you: where were Jude’s feet treated? I plan to go back through your blog, but I couldn’t remember if you traveled to Iowa or stayed here. (I’m thinking Iowa cuz he was older?)
Anyway, keep up the great posts!!