Admittedly, ‘dying’ might be a bit of an overstatement.
But sometimes it feels that way.
I started off this Lenten season with lots of resolve and determination. After all, I’d publicly shared with you guys that I was giving up something. Something I would miss every. single. day.
And I have done just that. For exactly 5 days and 14 hours. And counting.
I did a little research on Lent. And from everything I read, the Lenten season is meant to be a time of fasting and abstinence, whether one is abstaining from meat on Fridays, or entire meals altogether. Denying the flesh, as it were.
And let’s get one thing straight. I am not a fan of the fast. No way, no how. Honestly, it’s one thing I have purposely avoided, whether for dietary reasons or for spiritual ones. But this idea of fasting seemed to be the one thing that kept coming up again and again when I prayed on what I should give up this Lent. What I was to sacrifice for Him.
Why not TV, Lord? Why?
Argh. And isn’t that just the way God is? Hits you right at your very core? The one thing you don’t want to give up is the one thing He wants you to give up. But not because He doesn’t want you to have things you love, it’s because He wants you to love Him and honor Him above all.
So, I’ve created my own mini-version (okay, very mini) of a fast. A healthful and small breakfast and then dinner, without any of the bells and whistles. No desserts, no snacks, no fun stuff. And, so far, I’m hanging tough. I’m definitely not withering away by any stretch of the imagination that would take a very verrry long time but I have definitely felt, well, deprived. And I’ve tried to remind myself that this feeling of deprivation is actually a good thing. It’s a reminder that I am giving up something that I miss.
And definitely something that my love handles miss.
I’m determined to use this as an opportunity to change some bad habits, replace poor eating choices with good ones and get into a more healthful routine of caring for the body God has given me. This old girl ain’t what she used to be, but she’s the only bod I’ve got. And, God willing, she’s got lots of good years left on her.
Additionally, I am trying to use the times I feel like I’m really struggling to pray and spend time with Him, if even for a minute or two, to help me get back into the right frame of mind. A place of gratitude. Of thankfulness. Of mindfulness of all He sacrificed for me.
And that makes all the difference in the world.
It sure is hard, though. I hadn’t really realized just how often I was ‘indulging my flesh’. Yuk. It even sounds bad. So, if you’ve given up something for Lent and it’s killin’ ya, know that you’ve got a buddy in me, struggling too.
Truly, when I put on my ‘eternal perspective’ glasses, I see the deep and lasting value in observing this season. The key is having the right goals in mind and maintaining a proper, an eternal, perspective. For me, this journey is turning out to be a revelation of sorts.
And if I can lose 10 pounds in the process, so be it.
YOU GO GIRL!!! 😉
I love your reason for taking part in this 'fast' of sorts. Like you, Lent in itself is not something that we take part in as a church, as I also believe it is by grace we are saved, and not by works. But I love the concept and reasoning behind it, for 'depriving' our flesh of something while in turn replacing it with "spiritual food" so-to-speak. A time of denying ourselves, picking up our cross and following Him. A time of spiritual growth in the Lord and in His presence. Praying for strength as you press on towards the mark! <><
Hugs,
Tanya
I am WITH YA!!!!!
I have "given up" eating in between meals &…sigh…my *nightly* (oh my gosh I feel awful saying this!) ice cream…sigh again…I mean, what is A*merican I*dol w/o my dish of B#en & j#erry's Pistachio Pistachio???!!!
Anyway…I'm really focusing on the spring cleaning of my soul while doing this…I had a very successful Lenten journey 2 years ago…it was amazing…now, though, He is telling me to take it a step further…so…here I go!
Fasting with you…praying for you!
Hugs!!
Patricia
Stefanie~
You're doing great! Self-denial is SO hard! But from an eternal perspective, it's nothing really. I know, easier said than done. I love that you're being honest. And hey, if you lose the 10 lbs you want to lose, BONUS!
Blessings!
I questioned what to give up for Lent. IT was a struggle since it is supposed to be something you enjoy. So my options were coffee or wine. Now I am not addicted to my wine but I love my merlot as I am cooking dinner. Well, for mankind I decided not to give up coffee but rather wine. I miss it quite a bit but have realized while I enjoy the taste, I really just like drinking from my pretty wine glasses.
Stefanie, fasting is HARD, but I have no doubt you will draw closer to God during the process. Some of my deepest, most intimate times with Him have come during periods of fasting and I pray the same for you! 🙂
Way to go Stefanie! Thanks for sharing, we fast once a month for two meals- certainly not an easy feat but sure to humble you and help you grow spiritually.
More power to you!
Kudos to you!! I read your previous post where you were pondering the meaning of Lent. I had thoughts but could in no way comment because this is your journey. I think that through prayer you have hit the nail on the head. God worked it out for you and that's the true spirit of Lent-drawing closer to God and having him lead you. Which from reading your blog you really have no problem with that!! God Bless You during this Lenten season!
You are such an inspiration!!
I read your other post on Lent…and thought, well that's nice…
BUT, it actually has stuck with me…and now this post…
I'm thinking God is using you to get me into a different mind set…
Soooo, just to let you know…
I am now praying and contemplating ways for me to use this season of Lent to honor Him and grow closer to Him!!!
And I guess, that is what Christian friends are for…
Thanks!!!!
Go girlie!! That is awesome. I love the fact that you really are sacrificing….and that will in turn bring your heart closer to the Lord. I will continue praying for you through this process!!
i think the fast is not about giving it up for the sake of giving something up- or even to deprive yourself. it's about making room for God. it's about putting aside those things that keep you from God, and focusing on that relationship. so sometimes, i take something new on. you know, volunteer work, or adopting a behavior that emulates Christ and who he was in this world.
i have never been successful at fasting- unless it's from using curse words or giving up a grumpy attitude… :O)
i hope i can really enter into this season in a way i never have before… i haven't done so. yet.
but my priest keeps telling me, even if you don't "get it" until teh 40th day… you still got it.
I hear ya! I am missing my Diet Mt. Dew and caffeine too!
Hang in there!
oh, i'm doing something similar… not every single day, mind you… but i did on saturday. some people only do once a week, and since my giving up cursing wasn't working for me (i know, sad), i decided that i needed to work on something different. you have me a little more convicted, even, and i might work on it daily.
blessings. may this lenten season bring you peace.
melissa
http://www.mamabeyondchina.blogspot.com
I too have been struggling with what to give up for Lent. Last night I felt that it would be good to fast from one of my meals today. I chose lunch because I always need to fuel up in the morning and dinner is way to hard and chaotic with all the kids.I did pray during that time and felt a deeper connection to God. I'm hoping this is something I can continue past the Lenten peiod. Praying and fasting along with you!
I read this while indulging in a chocolate chip cookie and felt like it was a guilty pleasure 🙂 Why is it that we find it so hard to deny our flesh? Sigh… Hang tough, girl!
Good Gracious, you've inspired me. Especially the part about spending time with Him and praying during those times of struggle. I'll pray for you and I think I'll start thinking about not giving in anymore and using that time I'd be chewin' the food for chewin' on those words in the bible!! Thanks!
I gave up sugar and all sodas. None of it since last Tuesday. It is hard. VERY hard. BUT, it's not about me, right?
DITTO! Once again, I could just cut and paste your post and make it mine. :o)
Anyway … I too have given in and am finally participating in Lent. I have given up all sweets. Girl … "I'm dying here" in Hong Kong. Fruit and pretzels are just not cuttin it for this sugar addict.
Fasting with you & praying for us!
Love & Blessings from Hong Kong,
Kim
I just wanted to tell you what our priest told us a few years ago…"If what you are giving up for lent makes you a miserable person to be around, don't give it up! You are the one who is supposed to be "suffering" not the rest of us!" He wanted us to take on a season of service to others around us.
Good luck to you! I am trying to be more positive and complain less during this lenten season.
OH boy…you're a stronger woman than I…you gave up SNACKS? Whew…you're the REAL DEAL, Girl!