April 17th has been circled in red on my husband’s calendar for months.
Mine? Not so much.
You see, tomorrow night we’re attending a ball.
And while I, as a young girl, dreamed of such events and all the flowing gowns, sparkling jewelry and ridiculously high heeled shoes these evenings required, I’m grown now.
And I have nine children.
And somehow, I’d rather spend the evening nestled in front of a movie or huddled around a game table with all of them instead.
Not to mention the fact that I’m not a huge fan of social gatherings. This might come as a bit of a shock to some, but it’s oh so true. I’m most definitely a homebody extraordinaire, which really suits our lifestyle. ‘Cuz with this big of a posse, we don’t get out much.
But these ‘events’, like the one we’re attending tomorrow night, require not only leaving my kiddos at home and socializing, but they also require that I at least make my best effort to look the part.
Ugh.
While I do have a dress I can dust off for this formal occasion, let’s just say, it’s been over 15 years since I bought it. Good black dresses never go out of style, right? (that’s what I’m telling myself, please don’t tell me anything different because I have neither the time nor the money nor the inclination to buy anything new.)
I’ve got some great black, strappy heels, and I found some lovely dangly earrings… but back to the dress. And what I’m trying to put into the dress. Let’s do the math, here. If the dress is 15 years old, then that makes me 15 years older than when I first put it on. That’s a decade and a half and seven kids ago, peeps. And, granted, I only gave birth to two of those seven, but some how, some way, well… it’s left a mark.
So I’m on a mission, seeking some serious help. Help in the form of ultra strong, ultra (hopefully) amazing spandex. Spanx on steroids, if you will. My husband has encouraged me to go out and get whatever I need for our big evening. Thankfully for me, he wears rose-colored glasses where I’m concerned. And the fact that I’ll be stuffing myself into a dress like a sausage doesn’t turn his stomach one bit. I think he’s actually looking forward to seeing my shoulders again.
I’m off today to find my genie in a cellophane package. And I’m hopeful. After all, I do have a dress. And accessories. And we have managed to acquire an ultra qualified baby-sitter to watch our kiddos.
She’s a preschool teacher. If she can’t handle our crew, no one can.
I just pray that three impatient, curious tag-alongs, crammed alongside their sweaty, anxious mama in a tiny, fluorescently-lit dressing room while she squeezes into ‘shapewear’ won’t prove to be too much. For all of us.
Oh I feel for you! I'm not a big fan of those "events" anymore myself. If I'm going to spend all that money to get a sitter AND look good for my husband, I'd rather not spend it with a few hundred of his coworkers thank you very much. My other problem is that the food is usually good but my dress is always too tight to enjoy it. 😉 Have fun!
Oh my, this post made me smile. I hear you, sister!
Have fun at the ball, Cinderella, I'm sure you'll look fabulous!
Too funny! You better get a picture of this (you in the gown…not the shapewear…well, not just the shapewear). You're gorgeous and you'll look great…no genie required!
Sometimes it's nice to remember that you're not just a mom, but a woman, too. As much as I sometimes dread having to get dressed to go to these kinds of functions as I'm a homebody myself, it's good for me to do now and again…and we always have a great time!
Let Spanx be your fairy godmother!! I know you'll look gorgeous!! Post a pic or 2 if you can! And have FUN!!!
Hugs…from another homebody 😉
Patricia
You'll look MAHHHH-VOLOUS DAHLING!!! "SPANX" it together and have em all "hatin on ya"!! LOL!!
That last paragraph had me rolling on the floor! Been there, done that! And those little ones are oh. so. helpful. in a dressing room, letmetellyou! Can not wait to hear how this turns out! Plus also, you'd better post pictures, because you will be so gorgeous, I just know it.
Hilarious, Stefanie. Hilarious!!! You absolutely better follow-up with us on this saga. For those of us who never get the chance to go to a ball or rarely wear dangly earrings, we need experience this vicariously through you.
And don't forget to make note of all the clever comments you littles make during your dressing room experience.
And pics, we will need pics.
Thanks in advance for the entertainment.
My husband has a pair of those glasses too! Have fun shopping.
Funny, I'm also attending a ball tomorrow night. There was a day that I looked forward to those things myself. But that was about three kids ago. And thank goodness I bought a dress for mine about as far back as you did. But I'm running out of time for finding the "shapewear" to go under it. Therefore there will be no pictures to commemorate our big date…
Knowing that you are "schmoozing" will help me get through tomorrow night too…
I feel your pain. I donated my "black dresses" to a good cause…
The part where you said about you husband just being glad to see your shoulders again made me snort out loud! My goodness you are funny!
I would also love to hear what your kiddos say inside that dressing room. Kids saying the funniest things, especially out in public. More recently Lilah stands in front of me in the public washroom saying, "I'm so proud of you Mama". I guess that comes with me telling her that those many times when she was being toilet trained!
Have a great evening, it's good to get out and you should enjoy yourself. 🙂
Jill
LOL, your killing me!! If there is one thing I will forever be grateful for that would be spanx!! I'm sure you'll look gorgeous whatever your wearing. I know what you mean, I'm so done with big hooplas, I'd rather stay home and relax, or try to at least, any night of the week.
Have fun and can't wait to see the pics!!
OMW, Stefanie, I'm seriously laughing here! The thought of 3 of my littles in a dressing room watching me peel on a dress is…well, scary. I hope you will post pictures, and I'm sure your journey out of the house will be worth the effort!!!
Blessings~
You are so funny…if it makes you feel any better, I am wearing my spanx right now…
S to the P to the A to the N to the X!!!!
Have a great time!
Those aren't rose colored glasses. It's unconditional love in its purest form. Enjoy the fancy schmancy evening.
spanx=no fun
that is to me, of course.
every time i need to wear them i almost hyperventilate at the thought of having to put them on….
i think, the next time you have a "day" or a {couple hours} you should go out and get yourself a{nother} black dress—that does not require restrictive undergarments. ;). this post cracked me up btw!
I feel the same way about socializing! Not a big fan – right now anyway! Just do not have the energy and I am very much a homebody – always have been! Hope you have more fun than you think you will and yep, a great black dress never goes out of style – at least that's what my Momma told me!!! LOL!!
Ha Ha! Whenever anyone tells me I look good all dressed up, my response is "Smoke and Mirrors, Smoke and mirrors." :}
Too funny!!! I'm so impressed. It would take a lot more than spandex to get me into something I bought 15 years ago. I once did the same thing. Planned to wear my "little black dress" to something but couldn't find it. Discovered it was in my daughters' box of dress-up clothes. I guess my girls thought since I only went to the grocery store my "dress up" clothes were fair game.
Have fun tonight. I know you'll look beautiful!
Much Love,
Kathie
My sister told me I had to come read this post! I'm so glad I did. Thank you for your sense of humor and sharing from REAL life….where we all are! Your family is beautiful!