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speechless

We received an unexpected package the other day.

Seems a traveling family brought back a package from China. For us.

From Esther’s orphanage.

Right after Esther passed we requested to have some of her things. Anything, really. I wasn’t even sure what to ask for because I honestly doubted that they would – or even could – honor our request.

But I knew I had to ask.

Fast forward almost a month. No word or acknowledgement of our request.

Then a box arrived.

I opened it.

And I was speechless.

The faded yellow top and pink pants she was wearing in her referral pictures.

Her pillow, well-worn and in the shape of a teddy bear.

A disposable camera with most of the pictures taken.

And pages and pages of pictures and notes on our precious girl as she was cared for at her orphanage.

The last photo of her shows her standing outside. And the text was dated just a few weeks before she died.

In light of receiving this invaluable treasure, I still don’t know what to say.

Other than our God is so GOOD.

He loves Esther.

He loves me.

And sometimes that is all I need to know.

For God so loved the world,
that He gave His only begotten Son,
that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish,
but have everlasting life.

~ John 3:16

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06.09.11 · Esther 80

Comments

  1. Jennifer says

    June 9, 2011 at 10:26 PM

    Oh my word. He’s faithful, He loves you both so very, very much!. ๐Ÿ™‚ Smiling through tears. {{HUGS}}

    Reply
  2. Umiamigrad says

    June 9, 2011 at 10:28 PM

    WOW!

    Reply
  3. Suzette says

    June 9, 2011 at 10:28 PM

    God is good and He so knows our needs! What a wonderful gift for you to treasure as you cling to her treasures and dream of the day she will run into your arms. Rejoicing with you that God gave you the desire of your heart.

    Reply
  4. Rebecca says

    June 9, 2011 at 10:45 PM

    How comforting it must be to have some of her things to treasure.

    Reply
  5. Hailey says

    June 9, 2011 at 10:54 PM

    God’s got some angels looking after you, that’s for sure. He is so good. So happy for you!

    Reply
  6. Lori says

    June 9, 2011 at 10:55 PM

    What an unbelievable blessing from the Lord. I’m so happy that you received such a priceless treasure to honor your sweet girl.

    Reply
  7. jodi says

    June 9, 2011 at 10:58 PM

    Ohhhh Stephanie – tears are flowing! Oh how HE loves us!!!! And he knows just what we need – exactly when we need it!!!

    Reply
  8. elisabeth says

    June 9, 2011 at 11:12 PM

    AMAZING. He is so wonderful!

    Reply
  9. erika says

    June 9, 2011 at 11:13 PM

    wow, that is so amazing. i am so glad you have those things to comfort you. (((hugs))) i know they are small comfort- but just having something you know she wore is just so special and priceless. (((hugs)))

    Reply
  10. Cara says

    June 9, 2011 at 11:24 PM

    God is so good! What a treasure. Brought tears to my eyes!

    Reply
  11. Jen from Cincy says

    June 9, 2011 at 11:31 PM

    What a blessing! Truly a tender mercy of our Lord.

    Reply
  12. Cedar/ Joyful Mama says

    June 9, 2011 at 11:31 PM

    Thank you for sharing. Glad you have something of hers to treasure until you meet again.

    Reply
  13. Holly says

    June 9, 2011 at 11:32 PM

    What a gift! Thanking God with you for these little things to hold until Heaven where Esther will be waiting with no fear, no tears and no sick heart. What a joyful union that will be!!

    Reply
  14. Heather says

    June 9, 2011 at 11:53 PM

    We are praising with you! Enjoy!

    Reply
  15. Katherine says

    June 9, 2011 at 11:58 PM

    Oh my goodness. Sitting here with tears pooling in my eyes…for the second time this morning in the response to the Father doing a second incredible thing…things I asked for but thought so unlikely! His intimate love and care is just astounding.

    Reply
  16. Jennifer says

    June 10, 2011 at 12:07 AM

    Oh what priceless treasures!! His love is so extravagant indeed!

    Reply
  17. Jennifer P says

    June 10, 2011 at 12:11 AM

    What an amazing gift.

    Reply
  18. Kelly says

    June 10, 2011 at 12:12 AM

    Wow. I can understand the title of this post.

    How wonderful that the orphanage gave that to you–shows that they really cared about her, doesn’t it. And, that they recognized you as being her “next of kin,” her family. Beautiful.

    Amazing when God speaks to us so clearly like this.

    Reply
  19. Ashley says

    June 10, 2011 at 12:16 AM

    God is so tender. I am so thankful He spoke and you heard through this gift. Blessings and healing.

    Reply
  20. Rita says

    June 10, 2011 at 12:40 AM

    Oh! What a treasure for you and your family. What thoughtful and loving people must have been caring for her to put that package together and make sure it reached your hands.

    Reply
  21. Dusty says

    June 10, 2011 at 12:44 AM

    How special…

    Reply
  22. Kristi says

    June 10, 2011 at 12:52 AM

    Oh this gave me cold chills Stefanie. Praise God for caring about the intimate details of your life. I pray this will bring some healing…

    Reply
  23. Jen says

    June 10, 2011 at 1:18 AM

    Wow! What a BIG blessing. I know you must be overjoyed!

    Reply
  24. Leanne says

    June 10, 2011 at 1:31 AM

    The yellow top and pink pants that Esther was wearing???
    What a sweet blessing……..I have tears, happy and sad!
    I hope you have some comfort having your sweet Esther’s personal belongings.
    Yes, God loves you……and so do we!

    Reply
  25. Karin says

    June 10, 2011 at 1:35 AM

    Wow. I am speechless, too. What an amazing treasure.

    Reply
  26. Karen J moseley says

    June 10, 2011 at 1:36 AM

    Before she went Home, before she could come home to you, she was loved. How Precious to have that knowledge that there was someone(s) who cared deeply for your girl. I’m guessing that whoever tenderly packed those personal items, shed some tears for Sweet Esther. Hold her pillow and breathe in her smell. And, know that she awaits you. He is SO good to His Kids!
    With Love ~ Jo
    I got my tshirt today. It is beautiful and i will treasure it.

    Reply
  27. Laine says

    June 10, 2011 at 1:42 AM

    I am speechless too….at His indescribable mercy and showers of love…oh Stefanie it is so precious; I’m so grateful to Him for giving you these treasures. The return address might as well have said From GOD!
    Praising Him tonight….

    Reply
  28. isabelle says

    June 10, 2011 at 2:01 AM

    OMG! It’s wonderful. It will help you honor her sweet memories.
    They probably feel how she was already important to you and your family.
    Sad and happy for you in the same time.
    isa

    Reply
  29. Amie says

    June 10, 2011 at 2:21 AM

    Still Praisig Him!!! I cannot tell you the joy this brings to my heart. Doen’t matter, cause you know. Been praying and praying. HE is Faithful. And merciful. And he loves you SO MUCH. He LOVES little Esther. We love you little Essie Monster!!!!
    Happy Happy Happy Package Day!!

    Love You~
    ๐Ÿ™‚
    Amie

    Reply
  30. Jenny says

    June 10, 2011 at 2:44 AM

    Now that’s what I call a gift. Truly amazing.

    Reply
  31. Virginia says

    June 10, 2011 at 2:54 AM

    Choking back tears as I read this (and I’m not a “cryer”). What a special gift.

    Gin

    Reply
  32. Kelly says

    June 10, 2011 at 3:20 AM

    I think I stopped breathing for a minute while I read this. I was so overcome. Can only begin to imagine all the emotions you went through opening that box of treasure. God cares so deeply for Esther and for you. I should not be in awe of His amazing love, it’s just like Him. But I am.

    Reply
  33. Jean says

    June 10, 2011 at 3:38 AM

    Tears- of sadness, of joy, of thankfulness to our God- who is so so good!

    What a beautiful gift to get. What a treasure He has in heaven.

    Reply
  34. Melissa says

    June 10, 2011 at 3:47 AM

    Stephanie:
    We serve such an amazing God. This is just one more example of his love and tender mercies. I sit here in tears as I have followed you and your family through these journeys and in the process I have started my own journey of sorts. May God continue to bless and keep you and your family.
    Melissa

    Reply
  35. Rebekah says

    June 10, 2011 at 4:08 AM

    What a priceless gift!
    God really answers our prayers in marvelous ways!!!
    Still keeping your family in my prayers.

    Reply
  36. Nicole A. says

    June 10, 2011 at 4:10 AM

    Amazing! To be able to touch some things that she touched and to wrap your arms around her things. To have more photos and to know she was cared for. What a tremendous gift for your own heart. I am very happy for you, for such a wonderful gift.

    All the best,
    Nicole A., now in LA

    Reply
  37. Shelly says

    June 10, 2011 at 4:11 AM

    Wow! God just proves Himself to be our loving Father over and over again. What an amazing gift, that I’m sure you will cherish forever!

    Reply
  38. CheezyK says

    June 10, 2011 at 4:31 AM

    Like Virginia, I’m not a crier but … very glad that I’m at work on my own at the moment as these tears could be hard to explain. So very lovely to see Him moving in such a wonderful, tangible, needed way.

    Reply
  39. trina says

    June 10, 2011 at 4:36 AM

    Awwww…that’s so precious. I know you will always cherish them. So amazing that the orphanage would be so thoughtful. They must be grieving,too. She was loved by all of us all over the world. Only God could orchestrate something so amazing.

    Reply
  40. Myra says

    June 10, 2011 at 4:38 AM

    I logged on to tell you when we got our shirts today, how overcome with emotions we were remembering the two little girls we were hopeful to watch grow in your family…we ordered two, one for Poppy, one for Ester…today, we rejoiced for Poppy being closer to coming home to her family and rejoiced that Ester’s with Jesus and her heart is whole. We then cried for the what could have beens and for the loss for your family, and then prayed for you all. Then when I read about your wonderful gift, my heart felt such joy for you…I know you will treasure them.
    What a bittersweet gift.

    Love

    Myra

    Reply
  41. Annie says

    June 10, 2011 at 4:44 AM

    I am in tears, Stef!!! Oh my gosh, what a beautiful gift.

    Reply
  42. Patricia/nyc says

    June 10, 2011 at 4:51 AM

    what a precious gift to receive…so loved, yes, so very, very much…
    A bittersweet day for you for sure…you are always in my thoughts & prayers…
    hugs, my friend…

    Reply
  43. Stacy says

    June 10, 2011 at 5:00 AM

    Tears…thank you, Father, for such a precious gift….wow…absolutely incredible!!! continuing to pray!!!!!!!

    Reply
  44. Lib says

    June 10, 2011 at 5:09 AM

    This touches my heart and makes me tear up. Thank you for sharing this–thank you for sharing your story–God is hugely glorified through it and through the way that you loved and fought for sweet Esther. I’m so glad you have something tangible to hold onto that was hers…

    Thank you for sharing this.

    Lib.

    Reply
  45. Eileen says

    June 10, 2011 at 5:36 AM

    I can only imagine the rush of feelings as you saw and touched those precious items. What a blessing. And I’m sure very bittersweet.

    Reply
  46. Sophie says

    June 10, 2011 at 6:13 AM

    WoW!! What a beautiful gift God has blessed you with.

    Reply
  47. Lee Ann says

    June 10, 2011 at 8:46 AM

    Wow….unbelievable!! Our God is good Stefanie….what an incredible gift for you all! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  48. Sharon says

    June 10, 2011 at 10:38 AM

    Wow….. I never cease to be amazed by His love. So glad you have these little treasures.

    Reply
  49. Aus says

    June 10, 2011 at 10:39 AM

    Stef – better than the treasures – you also know that your daughter was loved and cared for – and that she got loved and cared for by people that “get it” – by people that “get it” enough to know that you guys loved and cared for her from half a world away – and you get a bond with the family that undertook the mission of brining those things to you – and all of us got just another peek at the “family” that makes up our adoptive community….

    Anybody want to argue against the evidence that God provides for His faithful?

    Great joy – and tears – for you guys here in Cincy…

    hugs – aus and co.

    Reply
  50. Heather Bednar says

    June 10, 2011 at 11:09 AM

    what a miraculous blessing! I know you will forever treasure each sweet gift.

    Reply
  51. Sarah says

    June 10, 2011 at 12:44 PM

    What a gift!

    Reply
  52. Mary DeGennaro says

    June 10, 2011 at 12:59 PM

    Stefanie,
    Isn’t He SO good to us!!!!!!! Such a precious, precious gift from the Lord, and more evidence of how much Esther was loved by her caregivers during her short live. This must bring you such comfort.

    Reply
  53. Kim says

    June 10, 2011 at 1:04 PM

    SO LOVED!
    All I can say is SO LOVED!

    Reply
  54. martha says

    June 10, 2011 at 1:13 PM

    God is good

    Reply
  55. Shelley says

    June 10, 2011 at 2:46 PM

    Crying. Speechless. Thankful.

    I’ve been so pressed to continue in prayer – I think this is why!

    Reply
  56. Amy says

    June 10, 2011 at 3:09 PM

    :*)

    Reply
  57. Adrienne says

    June 10, 2011 at 3:13 PM

    What a blessing! Only God! Thank you for the shirt and your sweet note. Love it!

    Reply
  58. Heidi R says

    June 10, 2011 at 3:50 PM

    I am so happy that you received these treasures of your daughter. May they provide healing, comfort, assurance and even joy. God has given you a good gift.

    Reply
  59. Donna says

    June 10, 2011 at 4:03 PM

    Stefanie, that is so thoughtful that they would send you all of sweet Esther’s things. I can’t imagine how difficult your loss must be for you and your family. Blessings, Donna

    Reply
  60. Sue says

    June 10, 2011 at 4:06 PM

    What a gift. Im so happy you have a part of her to love. I agree, “speechless”

    Hugs
    Sue

    Reply
  61. Stefanie Brown says

    June 10, 2011 at 4:45 PM

    He is faithful, Stefanie. I can’t imaging the hurt you’re feeling right now. Thank goodness He is THE comforter. Esther is in His loving hands and a reunion awaits.

    Reply
  62. Amy Shaw says

    June 10, 2011 at 5:47 PM

    WOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!! Totally an incredible surprise! ESPECIALLY the clothes she had on in the picture you loved her with! I cannot fathom what you must be going through, but so glad you were blessed with a tangible box of remembrances. You are loved. Obviously!!!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Reply
  63. Sarah says

    June 10, 2011 at 5:48 PM

    Oh my! ๐Ÿ™‚ PRAISE GOD!! ๐Ÿ™‚ How He hearts our hearts and sends the most beautiful blessings!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  64. Pam says

    June 10, 2011 at 5:54 PM

    What a blessing for you! I am crying reading your post.

    Reply
  65. Chrissie says

    June 10, 2011 at 6:10 PM

    How amazing … that one made me cry as I read it.

    Reply
  66. Joanna says

    June 10, 2011 at 7:21 PM

    What a blessing for you and your family as you make your way through this very difficult time. It’s good to get those tangible reminders of his love for us!

    Reply
  67. Jenna says

    June 10, 2011 at 8:24 PM

    Oh, Stefanie- God is so good! What a wonderful treasure- and so unexpected, I’m sure! I am thankful FOR you….and really speechless too to express how happy I am that you were able to get this amazing gift! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  68. Diana says

    June 10, 2011 at 9:59 PM

    Praising the One who loves us more than we can imagine!!!

    I am so thankful that you received this gift Stef!!!

    Love,
    Diana

    PS: We received yours today.. Thank you!

    Reply
  69. tish says

    June 11, 2011 at 12:06 AM

    awww, sweet girl….God is good, huh? have you ever read the little book, “A Shepherd Looks At Psalm 23″…as i read this post it reminded me of what a tender, loving Shepherd we have and how when our souls are cast down (as sheep sometimes get cast…turned over and can’t get up), He runs to us to set us aright with HIs presence and care.

    Reply
  70. Andrea says

    June 11, 2011 at 1:41 AM

    So sweet. So beautiful! To GOD be the glory!

    Reply
  71. Kim says

    June 11, 2011 at 2:58 AM

    That is truly a gift from God. How amazing to have such a treasure. I am so happy that you are able to have those items of hers.

    Reply
  72. Branda says

    June 11, 2011 at 3:12 AM

    I honestly don’t even know what to say Stefanie. You said it perfectly, our God is good. You will see your treasure again someday and what a day that will be!

    Reply
  73. Crystal says

    June 11, 2011 at 4:54 AM

    A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!! I know you will treasure those gifts more than they will ever know.

    Reply
  74. Shanny says

    June 11, 2011 at 3:58 PM

    Rejoicing with you. Esther was “so loved” by you, her care taker and our amazing Father. He never ceases to amaze me.

    Reply
  75. Amy Meeker says

    June 11, 2011 at 5:51 PM

    WOW!

    Reply
  76. Sarah says

    June 12, 2011 at 3:34 AM

    Sobbing…. and saying a prayer for your mending heart.

    Reply
  77. LeeAnne says

    June 12, 2011 at 7:33 AM

    I’ve been on holidays for almost four weeks. I came home this week, and set about posting my Sunday Snapshot – I then scrolled down to read your heart wrenching words that Esther has passed. Oh my goodness. I feel such a massive overwhelming sadness for you and your family. Your package is a beautiful gift, I’m sure it’ll be treasured. I’m so so sorry you will not meet your precious Esther in person – but know she is safely in God’s arms. Be still and know that He is God. Isaiah 58:11

    Reply
  78. M3 says

    June 13, 2011 at 2:43 AM

    Oh my gosh, I am covered in goosebumps reading this and can’t even imagine how you must have felt to open such an incredibly precious box. Incredible.

    Reply
  79. Lisa says

    June 16, 2011 at 1:18 AM

    (tears…)

    Reply
  80. Patricia says

    July 15, 2011 at 8:52 AM

    With moving and all I am so far behind on keeping up with my favorite blogs and life stories such as yours. I was quite despaired over tis tragic news. I can not imagine ~ no , maybe I can ~ losing one of my long awaited ~
    What a gift as the Lord’s comfort and gifts were already being laid out so you have some treasure of your sweet Esther. You know she was so very special the Lord wanted her with Him ~ now.
    God bless you sweet friend!! May His mighty arms lift you as your grieve again and again many times.

    In Him,
    Patricia {{ <3 }}

    Reply

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I'm Stefanie. Wife to one, mom to 13. Occasional blogger and t-shirt maker. Wannabe photographer and exerciser. Constant grace-needer and orphan advocator. more
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