I hesitate to say it out loud.
But today?
Was better.
It didn’t start out that way.
But early this evening, the blessed moment arrived.
She started playing with her stacking cups.
It happened as I was washing some things out in the tub and had her next to me.
When I, for the 379th time, gave her the stacking cups and imitated what to do with them… she actually took the cup and tentatively stacked it on the others.
I tried to contain my excitement for fear of frightening her.
The day wasn’t all celebrating, though.
We did have a lot of tears today. Maybe even more than yesterday.
But honestly, I’m thinking that’s a good thing.
Poppy is most definitely grieving hard and I’d much rather her feel safe expressing that than being too afraid to let it out.
Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings for Miss Poppy G. Thanks so much for the sweet and knowledgeable comments y’all left. I can’t tell you what an encouragement those have been.
P.S. Please forgive my crazy hair. Like I said, some things I just can’t do one-handed.
baby steps are great!!! hey, how is zach doing???
My girls, China babies, age 5 and 3, prayed for you and Poppy yesterday. My baby wanted to send Poppy a dolly and a Bible to help her not be sad. My oldest daughter drew her a picture. We’ll keep praying:)
Oh, sweet girl. I remember our Jenna, back in Jan., would just start sobbing at various times throughout the days. They do heal, and I agree that the outward grief may be hard to see, but I’m sure it means they had some good bonding early on. Yeah for stacking!!
I’m glad things are a little better then yesterday for you! Hopes your husband doing with all of this? Is poppy afraid of him? What sweet photos!
Crazy hair??? You look great!!! 🙂
Poppy looks so sweet…..she is just hanging on to you for dear life, isn’t she?
Yay, that she played with her stacking cups! Progress, my dear, progress! 🙂
Does Zach have something hanging out of his mouth?????
Praying……
Great news…I’m so happy to hear this. Baby steps are such a blessing.
Baby steps, right? Little, itty bitty baby steps!! I’m so glad to see she’s opening a little bit, even if the opening is so that the tears can come out. God Bless You, beautiful Poppy.
What a beautiful sight—-to see that beautiful little one in your arms. Enjoy every new, precious moment.
Girl, if that is crazy hair then mine is ready for the loony bin. Certifiable with a straight jacket. Every time I set foot outside my dry AC’d house, I feel the little curly frizzies springing up all over.
We’ve been praying off and on all yesterday and today. Trusting the Lord for those little steps to be building BIG foundations. REBUILDING THE WALLS, if you will. Hugs to you today!!!!
Woohoo!!! I am so happy for you and Poppy! One small baby step starts the journey of a thousand miles! We’ll keep praying…
Stefanie I see a tremendous positive change in Poppy’s facial expressions in these pictures..to me, while I agree that it’s evident she is still grieving, I don’t see fear ANYMORE, which is HUGE progress :-)!! She may be sad, but I do believe she knows she is safe. I too can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings for you guys. She is such a precious, beautiful little girl!!! I am so happy for her to have such a good mommy; she needed/needs you so much!! Hang in there. You are doing everything right!!!!
Yay! I’m so glad to hear that things are starting to turn around, I agree that it’s much better she feel safe in letting her emotions show they bottling it away!
What crazy hair? You all look beautiful! I’m so happy she’s making progress 🙂
XiXi and I made SO many trips out to that red bridge and out to see the fish. It was a bonding thing, which was great, but he felt like that trip HAD to be made with me carrying him the whole entire time. Luckily for you, Poppy looks a little more petite. Forty pounds is just a lot to pack around!
Oh, and something to make you smile…..my daughter was reading this over my shoulder and said, “How old is that mom? She looks like she’s about 20 years old.” So, apparently the crazy hair is doing good things for you!
I see a change in her face too. Definitely still sadness, and wariness of the camera in that first photo, but she is leaning IN to you. Compare that to the photo of you holding Poppy beside her Nanny(?) when you first met. The poor sweet dear will realise all this change is for the best soon!
What a wonderful answer to so many prayers. A sweet little girl, your little girl, trusting Mommy to show her the way. Continuing to pray for all of you. You’re so right that expressing her feelings and emotions are a good, good sign! She is safe and loved. She’s just learning that though and you are helping her every step of the way.
Oh Steph, that is an answer to prayer. I can tell from that last photo that she has let her guard down, maybe it’s just an inch as opposed to a mile, but baby steps. You can’t expect much more, and like you said, it’s a very healthy response to such a trauma.
She’ll have the rest of her beautiful little life to feel loved and secure.
Beautiful indeed, I love seeing pictures of her and you. And your hair is perfect!
Jill
Lots of love and prayers. Poppy will be just fine. You know that…………time, she likes to take her time.
I remember reading in a book that sugar can play a role in the bonding process. For example feeding her M&M’s while interacting with her could release endorphines like a “sugar high” that are then associated with the interaction.
Sometimes this helps the bonding process move a little more quickly. Just a thought of something else to try.
Her trust will come. You are doing great. I look forward to seeing her blossom.
Praying for all of you!
Tell Zach he is doing great with the camera!! 🙂 I pray that each day passes with those small glimpses of hope for Poppy!
Aw, heck. You look fabulous! I’m glad to hear today went a little better. Still praying for Poppy and for you and Zach to have the strength to give Poppy all the love and care she needs. God bless!
great news! Before you know it, she’ll be giving you the biggest smiles!!!!!
I am so happy for you all. Poppy’s consistent, sincere look of mistrust is so very familiar to us. Our daughter was like that but as we all know…hidden behind all that is the loving girl God created. Our daughter was incredibly frightened and a bit determined to stay that way rather than venture into the unknown. It will be so amazing to see Poppy blossom. Wonder if she will be as strongwilled as our Abigail. Wonder what it is going to be like with our new little sweetie when we go. We will continue to pray for you, for thosetiny little ways she opens up that are really BIG for her. Thanks for sharing your journey!
aw thanks so much for sharing! praying for you guys.
I would be doing everything one handed too! You are probably overwhelmed with joy to finally be holding her in your arms. She is so sweet and lovable! We will continue to pray for Poppy. I can’t even imagine how heartbreaking this is for her. Her whole life has changed in a few short days. We know that it is a change for the best, but she just doesn’t understand that yet. Soon she will realize that she is so loved!
When that smile comes it is going to be amazing. I can feel it, it’s coming soon!
Baby steps. Awesome!!! Praise the Lord!!!
You look fabulous, too! Who are you kidding?!
Praise God for baby steps!! She is just heart-breakingly beautiful. We traveled late June and I remember the humidity all too well. You’ve got nothin’ on the frizzies that were happening on my head.
Gin =)
I am so happy you have your baby. I have been anxiously awaiting all of your updates. Thank you for sharing!
I can’t wait to open RQ and go to your website to, first of all see if TODAY is the day that Poppy smiles and you get a picture of it, second, see your beautiful pictures and third, read how beautifully you say things about your day, poppy and progress! I LOVE readying your blog. I, too, see a little different expressio on her face. I will keep checking and praying!! She will come around. I am sure she already knows you love her because it’s evident in your pictures, so it has to be evident to her! Keep the faith and keep us posted as much as you can! Can’t wait to see that first smile. She is BEAUTIFUL not smiling…can’t imagine when she does how beautiful she will be!!! Prayers to you all!!
Baby steps! And your hair looks great!
Stef, Day 4 was our breakthrough day when we were in China with Katie. Praying that will be the case for you as well! Her little heart is unfolding like a little rosebud and she will bloom when she soaks up all the lovin’ ya’ll are giving her. Will be praying for you!
I wore your So Loved tee today in honor of you all! Hoping things turn happier each day. Grief is a great sign mentally that she had attached at one point so despite the difficult toll it plays on your heart strings emotionally it is a good thing! So many people praying for you all from every corner of the world and States so chins up 🙂
stacking cups provided one of our first break throughs with our daughter too! continuing to pray and giving thanks for a small breakthrough!!
Sounds wonderful, God is good and I know it will continue. You look beautiful together.
Yay ~ sounds encouraging! You’re doing such a great job with her ~ what a great momma! And she is just so precious. I think you all look great! Praying that tomorrow sees even more baby steps in the right direction.
All the best,
Nicole A., now in LA
Miss Poppy definitely looks sad, but not so afraid today. I’m checking in often to see the long awaited SMILE on her face. She is such a little sweetie, it is just heartbreaking to see her oh so sad. Glad to hear that she is starting to respond to toys.
Poppy has the positively prettiest eyes ever!! And in the black and white photos was there a grin on her face in one of them?!
Your hair is fine-you look beautiful, as always. Poppy still looks terrified, but each day will get easier, and playing is a major breakthrough, even if it’s just a little bit.
Ruby
She will come around.
Stef – what I think I’m seeing is the beginning of trust – and that kind of trust is what the rest of your lives – and all the love and joy that goes with it are all about!
It’s coming – and when it arrives – well look out!
great joy for you guys – hugs –
aus and co.
Oh Stefanie, it sounds like she is making great progress and like you said, as hard as it is, it is good for her to grieve and feel safe doing so! What crazy hair?? You look great as always!!!!
You are so pretty! And seriously. I cannot guess your age. I was thinking about it the other day (while looking at Poppy Day pictures) and realized that I am completely unable to guess. :O What is your secret??
You are also amazing. And Poppy will be amazing. And Zach is an amazing photographer.
What a wonderful update. So glad that Poppy is feeling more and more comfortable and I have to agree with what Melinda said about you looking so young and Zach being a great photographer. BTW, are you at the Garden Hotel? We stayed there for Sammy’s adoption in 2009 and the bridge and waterfall behind you look like the same one. Good luck Stefanie. 🙂
Praise Him! I love that Poppy is secure and comforted by you! Her heart is learning to trust, amen!
By the way, you look absolutely beautiful! I thought that since ‘gotcha day photos’!
Can’t wait to see little miss Poppy win the heart of your man and all of her siblings waiting to meet her!
Hugs
LOL – your hair looks great
So happy Poppy hada better day
Poppy is simply gorgeous! She does look like a sad little soul… but her beauty is breathtaking! The first few days are heartbreaking. I hope that tomorrow you may see a glimmer of smile?
I just wanted to say that I completelytotallyabsolutely get where Poppy (and you!) are. 6 mths ago we adopted our daughter from Korea and to say that she grieved hard and had a rough transition is an understatement. I can almost not even look at your Poppy b/c her sadness takes me right back to that time. I swear our daughter had the exact same pitiful, heartbreaking looks. I also was not able to put her down for even a second. I went the bathroom, did my hair, and even showered with her b/c no one could so much as even look at her. However, I have a feeling that once you get her home, her anxious attachment will get much better, especially since she will have all that distraction and fun in the form of her brothers and sisters. For us, we were first time parents and had nothing for her to be distracted by. It was just us and I think it was that much harder for her. She stayed inside herself much longer.
I often wished that we had other children; I think it would have done wonders for her transition. Anyway, so sorry for the LONG comment. I just was instantly transported back to that time and all these memories came flooding back. It was such a wonderful time, but gut-wrenchingly painfully too. Poppy is so amazing and so are you! Thanks for letting us follow your journey.
girl. You are stunning. even with your humid hair.
Praying for each day to be just a little bit better than the day before!!
😉
Amie