I’m not even sure exactly what to think about it yet.
And I think Clementine feels the same.
Some things about getting bigger she loves.
Like taking care of her baby.
And telling her brothers and sisters what to do.
But others?
This girl is not ready to quit her bottle. And she’s not even really interested in holding it herself for more than a minute or two. And as much as I’d like to have those few hours back in my day to do other things that need doing, I know one day soon my lap underneath her and my arms around her won’t offer her the comfort they do now.
And so we sit, three or four times a day, and I hold her. Like my sweet girl should have been held from the beginning.
She’s also not ready to move out of our bed just yet. We’re big co-sleeping fans but have never co-slept for more than a year.
But Clementine is teaching us that some rules are meant to be broken.
All the pillows and loveys and feigned excitement by me and her daddy over a “big girl bed” have not convinced her to move to the tiny daybed snugged up next to my side of the bed.
No, she’s really just fine sleeping right in the middle.
She’s also not ready to go without mama for long. I take her with me on most errands but occasionally leave her with big brother or daddy. But more than a few hours and she begins to get anxious.
Since we first met her, almost 17 months ago, we have been very purposeful in making sure I am the one to meet almost all of her needs. And although it has been a long road in waiting for her to understand this, and even really care who it is that is meeting her needs, she is learning to express her desire for it to be mama that feeds her. And mama that rocks her.
She is learning to trust again.
So, since mama is going to China soon, Clementine will also be going to China soon. Bringing a just-turned-three-year-old to travel for a just-turned-two-year-old is not on my top ten list of things to do.
In fact, it’s probably something I’ve said I’d never do.
But again, this girl is teaching us that some rules are meant to be broken.
And so, with her first two years now behind us, we will simply continue to enjoy the journey. Not trying to race ahead, pushing to see what she’ll accomplish next. And not holding back, pretending she’s not getting bigger, older and more capable.
We’ll simply keep on – one laugh, one wiped-tear, one bottle at a time – until she is ready to tackle the next milestone.
And then we’ll celebrate her wildly, because this little one deserves no less.
Happy Birthday, Clementine.