Clementine came home last November at 19 months of age.
And five months later, so much has changed.
I’ve done my best to blog about all the changes, but honestly, she’s learning and doing and changing so quickly, I really can’t keep up.
Five months.
When I think about the amount of time she’s been home – in relation to how she has grown, and how she has absolutely captured us – it seems like a really long time. I mean, goodness… five months ago she was essentially a stranger. And now we could not imagine life without her.
But when I think about that five months – in relation to how long she was without us – it seems like almost nothing. And the 19+ months seems devastatingly long.
570 days.
Makes my heart hurt in so many ways for her.
In a few ways my heart hurts for all of us. Like how many Clementine *firsts* we missed.
But then we have days like the other day. Clementine’s very first trip to the park.
It was also her first time on a big swing, pushed by her mama.
And her first trip down a slide, being held by her baba.
Her first time to feel fake-park-grass-stuff under her feet.
And her first time to take a step on that grass-stuff all by tiny, sweet self.
It was her first adventure through a big yellow tunnel, with a brother sticking his smiling face through the holes to try to make her laugh.
And a sister behind her, to make sure she didn’t get scared.
And a mama, waiting for her at the end.
It was her first trip to a park as a sister.
A daughter.
A beloved member of a family.
If these are the kind of firsts we’re in for, despite missing the first 19 months of firsts…
my heart feels pretty okay with that.