This surgery sort of snuck up on me. I mean, I knew it was coming, but I guess I’ve sort of been in denial. And by denial I mean so insanely busy with homeschooling nine (we’re already four weeks in, yay!) and getting Clementine ready for her own itty-bitty school year and learning to manage life with twelve kids under one roof that I haven’t really had a chance to think long enough on it for my tummy to start to turn. You know, like it is right now.
Because surgery is set for first thing tomorrow. 
Magnolia had a heart catheterization a bit over a month ago and we got some really wonderful news. She does have tetralogy of Fallot with pulmonary atresia, as suspected, but she does not have the MAPCAs. Which was a big surprise to everyone, even the doctor who did the catheterization. I think I might have even squealed out loud in the middle of him giving me the news.
Sooo, not only is her heart a lot less complex, but the repair is a lot more straight-forward. It also means, instead of possibly needing to travel way out of state due to the nature of the repair, that we can stay close to home for her surgery. Like less than a half hour away.
Which is oh-so wonderful. One of the biggest reasons is that my babies will be close enough to come visit any time between 9 AM and 9 PM. And once Miss Magnolia is feeling up for visitors, I imagine our little hospital room will be at maximum capacity. Because no one can make Magnolia smile like Clementine can.
It will be the first time I have been apart from Clementine and, not gonna lie, it makes my heart hurt. But my littlest girl needs me now, and Miss Clementine, all three-and-almost-a-half years of her, has gotten a heaping helping of me over the last 20 plus months.
Now I’ve just myself of the truth that He’s got her, like He’s always had her. Just like He has Magnolia. Right in the palm of His hand.
We completed our pre-op evaluation today and Magnolia is not a fan of the hospital or the doctor or the stethoscope or any part of it. And I can’t blame her one bit. She endured several surgeries in China, which meant weeks and weeks spent in a hospital bed, most likely alone. We are so grateful for the medical care she received in China – her cardiologist referred to her as a child with “very well-palliated tetralogy of Fallot” – but enduring medical procedures and painful surgeries with no mama to sit beside her left some scars on the inside of our girl as well as the outside.
But this time, her mama is going to be there. Having a mama, a never-going-to-leave mama, is something she doesn’t really comprehend and just three months into forever. But it is my prayer that God would use this difficult time to engrave us deeper onto each other’s hearts in a way that only He can.
It’s been almost two months since I posted about our girl – and man oh man, is she changing and learning and growing. I hope that during this week, when she is resting and quiet, that I can get a few words down about her and all the ways He is working in and on her broken heart. We shall see.
If you are inclined, we would so appreciate your prayers on Magnolia’s behalf:
That Magnolia would have a peace and somehow an understanding that this is for her good.
That her surgery, which is expected to last over five hours, would be as straightforward as expected with no complications.
That the surgeon and his team would have an extra dose of wisdom, endurance and precision.
That all the staff involved in her care would be full of compassion and tenderness towards her.
That I would instinctively know what she needs and be able to meet those needs as completely as possible.
That my kiddos at home would enjoy their week off of school (yay for homeschool), get along and not drive their baba crazy.
That my sweet Clementine would understand that her mama isn’t gone, just away for a little while, and that she would be able to communicate her needs with her baba and siblings.
Will do my best to post updates and prayer requests to Instagram. So very thankful to know there is a big, beautiful body of believers praying on behalf of our girl – such a story He is writing in the life of this little one who He – so perfectly – knows by heart.