happy birthday, sweet one

Esther-20months

Today we celebrate a most bittersweet day. Today would have been Esther's 4th birthday. We will make a cake today. We will think of her. Miss her. But no candles will be blown out. No presents opened. No squeals of delight. Instead, we grieve the loss of a beloved daughter and a cherished sister. But it is impossible to stay in that grief. Because God is so much bigger. One year ago on this day, in honor of Esther's birthday, I shared about a little girl named Kate. She was at New Day Foster home and in need of heart surgery. Because of the … [Read more...]

the answer

picnic-1

Today marks two years since we got the call about Esther's death. And my heart still aches for her. So much has happened since in those two years. So much I could have never anticipated nor imagined. At the time I simply couldn't see past my grief. I didn't want to see past my grief. Not a year. Not a month. Not even a day. But God. He carried me during that time, constantly reminding me of His love. He didn't give me the answers I so desperately sought. But He gently revealed to me that He was the Answer. Two years later I can look back … [Read more...]

a very special day

kate

On December 12, 2010, I saw a face that would change our lives forever. We spent the next few months praying furiously and working tirelessly to make her a part of our family. On April 7th, we shared her sweet picture, and very-much-wrestled-over middle name, here on the blog for the first time. And the next day we launched So Loved - a fundraiser to bring our girls home. We even created a t-shirt especially for the occasion. On April 29th, we received the news we had been waiting for - our LOA had been issued for both Poppy and Esther. We were … [Read more...]

one year ago…

estherreferral-2

we got a phone call that would change us forever. Esther had passed away. My goodness, I miss her so. God has done much in our lives since then, to bring us comfort. To bring us joy. He has been so very good to us. Shortly after we accepted Esther's referral, He encouraged me to create a t-shirt, as a way to fundraise. But since her passing, it has become so much more. Last July, as we approached what would have been Esther’s 2nd birthday, we began offering So Loved for sale at Wild Olive with 100% of the proceeds going to fund a future heart … [Read more...]

timeline to Tallula

Some of y'all have wondered about our timeline to Miss Tallula. And mentioned that it seemed that we'd had the fastest and easiest paperchase in history. It wasn't exactly the fastest. Or the easiest. But the question did get me to thinking: when did we 'start' for Tallula? How long has it been? And the answer stung this mama's heart a bit. Because our journey to Tallula started with Esther. If we had not fallen completely head over heels for a little girl with pixie ears and long eyelashes, we'd have never found our Tallula. And, despite the sting, I … [Read more...]

joy

necklace-2

I was so very excited to get this back. My most favorite piece of jewelry. Heck, one of my most favorite things... period. But I was also incredibly nervous. When I received the new charm for my necklace for my birthday last year, I knew it would include the name of our newest little bug, Miss Tallula. But I wasn't quite sure if it should include Esther's name as well. I considered having a different necklace made just for Esther. But I just couldn't decide. So, I waited. And waited. But an answer did not come. Finally, I was determined … [Read more...]

Sunday Snapshot: {my favorites of 2011}

favesof2011-9

Here are my favorite photos of 2011. In chronological order. 1. Sophie Lu in her silks at Chinese New Year. 2. Vivienne loving the snow. 3. Asher, growing up. I thought he seemed big in this picture but man, has he grown since then. 4. Remembering - and missing - Esther. 5. Chris at his fini flight getting soaked. Much to his children's delight. 6. Father and daughter. And kite. 7. Me and my girls on our last trip to our favorite spot in New England. 8. Poppy and the Red Couch. 9. Zach at Starbucks. In China. … [Read more...]

a reminder

esther-3

I miss you, Esther. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you. And wish that you were here. My sweet friend Kim sent me a precious little reminder of you. That looks like you. With a verse that reminds me of you. That I can squeeze when I am missing you. Thanks, Kim, for making this mama smile and cry at the same time. … [Read more...]

celebrating Esther

solovedround

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Esther’s day

esther six month

Today I am filled with thoughts of Esther. You see, today is her birthday. She would be turning two. As y'all know, we were so blessed to receive a package from Esther's orphanage after her death. We had requested to receive any of her things and were completely amazed when, one month later, we received a box containing many of her precious belongings. Enclosed also were her Half the Sky reports... filled with pictures of Esther we had never seen before. And stories of her daily life at the orphanage. Through these, we fell in love with our girl even … [Read more...]