Thanks to a whole new perspective, courtesy of The Big Guy, I am feeling much better. Rejuvenated, in fact (if that is possible). My good friend Laine sent me a fantastic Oswald Chambers devotional for the day on Tuesday. It really spoke to my heart. In fact, I had “My Utmost for His Highest” (Oswald Chambers’ daily devotional) on my desk, within an arm’s reach of my keyboard, but I had not read it in a long time. I opened it up on Wednesday and read this:
“. . . so that I might finish my course with joy, and the ministry, which I have received of the Lord Jesus.” Acts 20:24
Joy means the perfect fulfillment of that for which I was created and regenerated, not the successful doing of a thing. The joy Our Lord had lay in doing what the Father sent Him to do, and He says – “As My Father hath sent Me, even so am I sending you.” Have I received a ministry from the Lord? If so, I have to be loyal to it, to count my life precious only for the fulfilling of that ministry. Think of the satisfaction it will be to hear Jesus say – “Well done, good and faithful servant”; to know that you have done what He sent you to do. We have all to find our niche in life, and spiritually we find it when we receive our ministry from the Lord. In order to do this we must have companied with Jesus; we must know Him as more than a personal Saviour. “I will show him how great things he must suffer for My sake.”
“Lovest thou Me?” Then – “Feed My sheep.” There is no choice of service, only absolute loyalty to Our Lord’s commission; loyalty to what you discern when you are in closest contact with God. If you have received a ministry from the Lord Jesus, you will know that the need is never the call: the need is the opportunity. The call is loyalty to the ministry you received when you were in real touch with Him. This does not imply that there is a campaign of service marked out for you, but it does mean that you will have to ignore the demands for service along other lines.
God has reminded me of how this all began, in July 2004, when He spoke to my husband about a little girl in China. A little girl who was waiting for us, who, unbeknownst to us had probably just been born about that time. I was looking at our commission, to bring her home as well as our other children, as an event. A one time happening. What I realized in the last few days is that in that moment, God gave us a mission. A path to travel with our lives. Not for a moment or a month or a few years, but for a lifetime. Basically, until further notice 😉 How cool is that? A mission to help, advocate for, speak up for, represent to the best of my abilities all the little ones who wait. Who wait for their turn. Does this mean I am to bring home four more kiddos? I don’t think so. But I do think He has a lot more planned for us to accomplish through Him. I have some suspicions about what He might call us to do in the future, but nothing definite. And how exciting is that? God calls us to a life of adventure, excitement and above all JOY! But the joy is not found in a ‘thing’ or an ‘event’ but in serving Him and finding ourselves being used as an instrument for His kingdom, His glory and His children!
So I am ashamed to say I was terribly focused on the small picture. The very very small picture. Our PA will come. Shepherd will be in my arms one day very soon. God started us on this path and I fully trust that He will bring Shepherd home in His timing. And then who knows? What I do know is that God wants me to enjoy the journey. Not miss the scenery as I’m trying to blaze through life with my hair on fire, running from one life event to another. Knuckles white from gripping onto the steering wheel so tightly. Wishing the time away in between. Missing opportunities to find joy in my family, my friends, and most of all my Savior. He wants me to savor every minute, the good and the bad, the easy as well as the difficult. There is much to be learned and enjoyed in all of it, it’s just a matter of changing my perspective to HIS perspective. What will be next on this journey? I can’t wait to find out 😉