I really do not know where to begin… this has been the most amazing three days! I have actually cried more tears of pure joy in the last few days than I ever have in my whole life. The support our family has received since sharing our story has been nothing short of unbelievable. And to each and every person that has taken the time to donate to our adoption expenses, you have my sincerest gratitude!
In addition to the astonishing total in our ChipIn, we were contacted by the ELISON project, a non-profit organization that provides grants to help bring home special needs children from China. Shelby, the executive director, wrote to inform me that our family had been selected to receive a grant. As I read the email, and reread it, I sat in disbelief that God would choose us for such an incredible blessing. Once the realization hit me, the tears began to fall. Thankfulness and gratitude wrapped around me like a warm blanket. Shelby, mom to SN children herself, is such an inspiration to me, a woman who is truly putting feet to her faith. She is living the life that God has called her to and giving Him all the glory for the tremendous impact her company is having on the lives of SN children and their families.
In the very beginning, when my sister sent me the draft she had written retelling the story of Cam’s life and then his death, it felt like I was reliving those difficult days. A lot of emotions came out of nowhere that I thought were gone… evidently they were tucked away despite my best effort to move beyond that debilitating sadness. And as painful and tearful as that was, the healing that has been taking place during this process, much in part to the outpouring of love, prayers and reaching out from the adoption community, has been more than worth withstanding the flood of emotion that this experience has induced. I’ve always believed in a mighty God, One that can do all things. But now I realize how deeply I doubted that He would do mighty things for me. Sure, I’d seen Him do amazing things in other people’s lives. I’d even witnessed first hand how He’d blessed my sister’s life, but she’s also one of the most compassionate, grounded, and giving people I know. But God has a way of surprising people and He certainly has used this adventure to shake up my view of Him and His ways. He has used you all, collectively and individually, to alter my perspective of His love for me. God has been holding me tightly in His arms the last few days, tighter than He ever has. Or maybe this new found vulnerability has allowed me to open myself up to His love, a love that is unconditional and unending, in a way I have never experienced. How does one say, “thank you” for that gift? I can’t seem to find words that are adequate, but I sincerely hope that my gratitude and appreciation are conveyed through sharing the impact of this life changing event.
With a grateful heart,