We arrived at Civil Affairs before Poppy, which was good.
I so wanted to be there when she walked in with her nanny.
But I was as nervous as a cat, watching other families being made.
Witnessing the faces of children crying, coping, and falling apart.
And wondering what Poppy was going to do when she realized she was here, at this strange place, to meet me.
Soon, very soon, there she was. Peeking out from behind a brightly colored curtain.
And she took my breath away.
She walked in cautiously, beloved ball in hand.
But as soon as the nanny encouraged her to go toward me, she crumbled.
And I can’t say that I blame her.
I knew to expect it, but to see the little one you’ve loved from afar be so afraid? Of you?
It’s heart-wrenching.
So I just held her. Rubbed her back.
Offered her bribes… of which she accepted none.
Wiped her tears.
We were told by her carer that she is a sweet girl. Is very healthy. Likes to smile. Knows some of her body parts.
And is very, very afraid of strangers.
Poor baby.
So, instead of getting up in her grill, and satisfying my mama’s curiosity about what my sweet Poppy really looks like, smells like, and acts like, I determined to take it very slowly with her.
And let her set the pace.
When we got back to the room it was no different.
She was stiff. Wary. Scared.
So I did my best to avoid a lot of unnecessary eye contact. And just focused on the things she seemed to not be afraid of… the stacking cups, the bubbles.
Thankfully, she was content to sit on my lap.
And would let me feed her bits of things we had been told were favorites.
She also drank some of the apple juice I offered her, and later took an entire bottle of the rice cereal/formula combo the SWI told us she drinks.
I am so grateful that she will allow me to hold her and feed her. The rest of it I know will come in time.
So, I’d say that things are really going very well. She has gone through so much in the last day, and she seems to be bright, resilient and incredibly sweet.
Oh, and positively stunning.
And I have determined that I am not going to rush the smile that I know is in there.
I want to give her all the time she needs to feel safe with me.
Which, indeed, might take some time.
But I am certain that when she does crack that first smile, it will be absolutely, positively, worth it.
So grateful for those prayers because P.S. she slept through the night!
Oh my heart, she is the sweetest thing! Will be praying for Poppy and Momma! 🙂
poor sweet girl! praying for you all! love!!!
Bless her poor little heart!!! She is just stunning! Congrats! I’ve been praying and will continue to do so!!
Tears of joy for you my friend! <3
AWESOME!!!! I’m so overjoyed for you! She will come around……in the meantime, just enjoy finally being able to hold her. So sweet, she is. God Bless!!
I hope that her grief is short and that she sees the love that surrounds her. She certainly is a beauty!
Oh my goodness….CONGRATULATIONS! Poppy is just precious….and my heart breaks for her because she is going through so much…but I know that it will all work out, in time, and she will thrive…the photos are absolutely gorgeous! I am so happy for you and your family…{{{{hugs}}}}} to Poppy, and will be praying for an easy transition!
Awesome! We are so happy for you! I still can’t believe how beautiful she is. Continued prayers for your time together in China getting to know each other and of course your safe travels back home! Thanks for sharing!
So sweet!!!! She is the cutest thing EVER!!!!
Congrats!!!
PTL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She is BEAUTIFUL! And you’re right, that first smile will brighten your heart like the sun! 🙂
Thank you for sharing!
amy
So happy to finally see her in your arms after this long journey. What a sweet little thing she is and “So Loved”!
I’ll be praying for her sweet little heart as she begins to open it up and let you in. What a blessing.
<
Jenn
PRAISE GOD!!! What a doll baby! It won’t be long until she is running around, screaming, giggling and playing with her big brothers and sisters!!
She is just beautiful, and I hope she will soon give you that smile! Prayers for you from Florida…
How precious is she???? Praying for continued smooth transition! She is beautiful!
Congrats! She’s gorgeous. I know you will win her heart in time. 🙂
So happy for you guys! Poppy is just beautiful. Praying for the attachment – and smiles – to come in time.
It bring tears to my eyes… what a precious girl! Praying she adjusts and accepts you soon. She is positively beautiful!
Oh the picture of her peeking around the corner… gulp. How scary this must be for her. But what wonderful things lie ahead….
love that sweet little face!
Can’t wait to see how she opens up just a bit more each day!
love you, Poppy!!!
🙂
Amie
Sending my prayers to you, Zach, and Poppy! <3
Lord Jesus, we come to you now on little Poppy’s behalf.
Please soothe her scared and anxious heart. Open her little spirit and guide her to feelings of safety that she might be able to receive the nurture that Stefanie and Zach seek to offer her. Let them hear your voice clearly and definitively, sensing what your Spirit knows that she needs. Give her healthy grieving that her heart can then move to healthy attaching. Pour your HOLY SPIRIT all over that hotel room. Flood it wit h your peace and care. Give them all endurance, perserverance, and hope. Great hope, Lord Jesus.
And thank you for the gift of life that Poppy represents, not just to Stefanie but to all us other waiting mommas, laboring in the spirit to bring forth the little ones that You have chosen for our homes.
In your precious name, Amen!
I prayed with you, “the gang’s momma” thank you for your words. They perfectly express my heart and burden as well!!
~amy
Keeping you both covered in prayers. She is beautiful!
Aw, tears in my eyes as I saw the pictures and read today’s post — It must be heartbreaking to experience (although a necessary part of the adoption process).
Poppy has ended with a very special family…God bless you!
Chrissie
Absolutely beautiful! Poppy is adorable and she has a very understanding Mommy! The perspective that you gave, letting Poppy set the pace, is truly amazing. Thank you for sharing your precious moment!
She is stunning even with her serious expression — congratulations on another precious treasure!
Bless her sweet little heart – she is stunning, there is so much in those beautiful eyes. Thanking God she slept last night and continuing to pray for you all through this transition.
Wow.
What a beauty!
She’s Precious!
She is stunning. Absolutely. Stunning. And there is so much wisdom in this post. (It’s as if you’ve done this before!!) I will look back at these words often as I prepare myself for this day. Thank you so much.
Oh my word, I could just cry with her. How frightened she must have been at that moment. I know she will overcome her fears and learn to let you love her, and then begin loving you back in return. Thank you so much for giving that beautiful girl a brand new family and sharing it all with us!
Mindy~
And one more thing — I am particularly in love with your darling Poppy, knowing that she may have been a playmate of our little Grace, and that the women who cared for her likely also cared for my baby girl. When she’s ready, give her a little hug from me, ok?
I love her eyeing that bubble. It’s like she’s saying, “Whatever, Lady.” What a sweet and precious girl. As you know, our little boy was not the least bit pleased to meet us. Understandably. I still can hardly look at his passport picture, which was taken right after he met us. The sadness and fear in his eyes is so apparent. Now, I can hardly even recognize that as him. His eyes are so joyful and confident. I know you’ll see that spark of love in Poppy’s beautiful eyes very soon.
Keeping you in my prayers! So glad she slept through the night and seems to be adjusting well.
She is just precious…..and of course, beautiful!!
She takes my breath away, too! She is an angel, Stefanie!!! Really!
Praying for you all!!! 🙂
Wow! She is absolutely STUNNING! Congratulations and God bless you and your whole family!
So beautiful and precious! Brought back memories of our little Guangdong girl!
:’) That’s all I got.
She’s breathtaking. So happy for you!
So precious! Praising our Father for a new blessing to your family! Can’t wait to see that smile. Treasure every moment!
ohhhh she is so sweet and precious! Congratulations to all of you! And wow! What a blessing that she slept through the night! 🙂 continued prayers
Stefanie,
I am in Guangzhou this week (staying at the Victory), having just adopted a 14 year old girl. I would LOVE to meet up with you if you’re coming to the island at all.
We have 6 children now, with one more coming in a few weeks (my husband will be coming back to China for her). I love chatting and gleaning from other adoptive moms!
I have been visiting with Kathy (just adopted Alivia) every day this week, and we’d both love to eat a meal or something with you, if you have time.
And your Poppy is just GORGEOUS. I know she’ll come around to that Mommy love in no time! Blessings that today goes better than yesterday and you catch that sweet smile!
Hey Selina!
How long will you be on the island? I won’t get over there until Saturday, I think, but I’d love to meet up with y’all 🙂
Those eyes! Oh my goodness!
You keep making me bawl like a baby. If we had the money (a family of 4 lives off about $35K)….if we had the space in our home, (1,000 square feet) I would want to go off and adopt my own little Poppy. She is precious. Thanks for sharing this magical time with us.
Absolutely precious….can’t wait for the smile
She is stunning! Such soulful eyes. Praising God for the things He does for his children- his big girls as well as his little girls. So loved and so cherished.
Poppy is beautiful! Congratulations to your family!!!
So precious. Praying for you all!
She gorgeous, a future Miss America!
Aww poor Miss. Poppy so many changes. She is so beautiful and praying for the best!
She’s so beautiful, you’re a lucky mommy. God bless her and congratulations
Poppy is absolutely precious! It’s heartbreaking to see her so upset, but I know that her smile is not far away! Continuing to pray for all of you!
Poppy is BEAUTIFUL!!! I know how your heart aches to see her so upset, but girl, you are doing the right thing right now…giving her the space & time she needs. It won’t be long before you see her beautiful smile, a smile that will be all for you, her momma! Blessings to all of you, always!!
Yes, to all of the above. It must be so so hard to not be in her face! Two of my children (all bio, so far) have been terrified of strangers at Poppy’s age, and strangers who either acted over-the-top happy, or expected something from them were the most terrifying of all. People who were just available with no pressure were warmed up to MUCH faster.
Poppy is seriously stunning!
Praise God for His wonderful gift to your family! She is just beautiful and so precious… SO loved!
Praying for you and your little miss as you get to know each little part of her. Thanks for letting us follow along and be a part of the prayer team! 🙂
Be still my heart! She’s a doll. Oh, and how my heart has done flip flops finally seeing her in your arms. I can only imagine what it has done to yours. So happy for you, Stefanie. 🙂 Can’t wait to see how she progresses in the days that follow. You’re such a wise mommy. Bless you!!!
Oh…precious little pumpkin. Her look reminds me so much of when we adopted Grace. Grace was sad and afraid, but it didn’t last too long. Praying for the same for Poppy.
Oh my….Stefanie!! She IS stunning…..but you already knew that. Enjoy the moments and those precious first few weeks of getting to know your sweet girl. SO happy for you….and for Poppy! Prayers for a wonderful time in China! 🙂
Praying for you and sweet Poppy. She is SO beautiful!
Love and prayers from Canada!
She is just so sweet! I’m feeling good that she’ll be smiling in no time!
Doreen in Montreal
She is breath-takingly beautiful! I know that smile may be locked away for a while– but as you know it WILL come. Praise the Lord sweet Poppy is in your arms.
everything everyone else said :O) blessings friend.
She’s sooooo precious! You’ll get that smile and she will feel so LOVED!
So stinkin’ proud of Miss Poppy G sleeping through the night!! I love that precious face and YOUR big ol’ smile in your So Loved tee. 🙂 Can’t wait to see more!
Love you!!!!
To-leen
She’s so beautiful:) Congratulations 🙂
you have our families prayers…she is so beautiful and fits perfectly in to your arms {{{{{hug}}}}}
Stefanie~
I know our big, wonderful God will peel back layers of your sweet Poppy day by day so that you will see more and more of her–including a beautiful smile. I pray Poppy will know your fierce and undying love for her and learn to trust you and love you.
Love~
Lisa
so fun for us all to see our gotcha room, the same as yours, only 3 months ago.
she is going to LOVE coming home to all the familiar chinese faces in your house.
What a treasure.
praying and praying.
laura
What a miracle. Congrats to you and your family on the beautiful addition.
What a precious gift she is. Just gorgeous! I can’t wait to see her blossom in your family. P.S. I remember that room well…it’s where my sweet Ruby joined us.
Oh she is so beautiful. Thank you so much for a the candid look at meeting Poppy for when we meet our new littles this coming year I have just a little better idea of what to accept.
Stefanie,
She is absolutely stunning…what a beauty. Congratulations!!!
brings me back particularly the tragic picture with the nanny – at least she would eat and drink. Time will heal, that’s what your 2 weeks are for. Take care and get some sleep yourself. Wait for the change that will come in a week.
Aww. Her pensive eyes say so much. She’s adorable and has such a great family to meet! Thanks for giving us a peak of your special meeting time.
Congratulations, Stefanie! Your Poppy is beautiful! Hoping she’ll give you a smile soon.
Congrats! She is beautiful just like the rest of her family!
God has placed her just the right family meant just for her!
She will be giving you tons of smiles by the time you travel many miles to be reunited with your precious clan!
How wonderful she (and I am hoping you and Zack too!) slept all night. Nothing like a good nights rest to make adjusting a lot easier for all!
Praying a ton that all continues to go well!
she is PRECIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!! oh- her eyes just take my breath away. congratulations! it is sooo good to see you holding her!
Oh Stefanie! Poppy is positively stunning! Those eyes are amazing! I am just so very happy for you and for her ~ you are such a trooper, and I am so thrilled that she is finally in your arms! Have a blessed day getting to know her. I bet that smile will come soon…
All the best,
Nicole A., now in LA
I’m stalking all your posts now… but can you blame me?
She is so precious, and so beautiful! Her tears broke my heart, so I can only imagine what they did to you.
And that is how it shows what a wonderful mother you are; your willingness to be patient and careful, when we all know how much you just want to squeeze her tight.
Still praying for you all!
She is absolutely beautiful! Bless her little heart… No doubt that she will fit right in with the rest of the cute-clan! Sending peaceful thoughts your/her way!
She’s precious and sweet and maybe it’s because of her name but she make me think of a flower. She’s closed up and holding onto her petals tight right now but pretty soon, she’s going to let them down and blossom.
And you’ll be there for every glorious moment when she does.
Congratulations!
Poppy is simply beautiful. Those sad eyes will not last long. Even though I don’t know you, I can see through your blog that you are a great mother and I am sure Poppy will be giving you huge smiles, hugs, and kisses soon. You inspire me. Your family is beautiful!
THRILLED to see you united with sweet Poppy!! All our congratulations to your wonderful, amazing family! So sorry that we missed you by just a few days! : (
Will be eagerly watching for your posts . . . and for that first precious smile.
Hugs across the miles,
Joe and Jennifer
Praying for moments of happiness to peek through the fear and sadness. Bless her heart, she is very brave! She is so beautiful! Congratulations on your newest blessing!
She is absolutely stunning!! Praying for you all that her transition is smooth.
What a beautiful little thing she is! She just looks wise beyond her sweet age. It will be such a blessing to watch her open up. You may know that there is a playroom on the sixth floor (I think) of the hotel. It is not on the room side though. You take the elevators that are near the restaurant. You may have to ask the girl at the desk for the key. They were always happy to help us.
Poppy is beautiful, her eyes are amazing. I still remember my daughter’s first smile after two days together…she completely owned me from that point on. What incredible joy when she finally started to let me in. It will happen with Poppy in her time and will be so worth the wait!
Oh Stefanie, you are such a wise and loving momma!!!! She is just gorgeous and like you, I know that smile will come and will be incredible!!! YAY!!!
Absolutely beautiful!! Can’t wait to hear more as the days go by!!
Thank you Jesus!!
She’s such a cutiepie!! I’m so happy to see these pics of you actually WITH her!! You’re handling this perfectly. Me? I’d be a mess. Keeping yall in our prayers!! Can’t wait to hear more!
ps. another family just picked up their baby from China (www.angiedweldon.com). Wonder if yall were in the same place??
Oh that precious baby girl! I know she’ll be smiling in no time. Congratulations! What a little beauty…she is killing me with those eyes.
Gin =)
Oh this is so sweet. And Poppy has incredibly beautiful eyes. God bless~
Congratulations! She is beautiful. Praying for her to feel safe with her Mama soon.
Oh Stef ~ she is just SO sweet… tears and all! Khloe cried a lot, too… but like you, I didn’t want to rush things; but instead just met her needs and took things at ‘her’ pace. And since you’ve been through this so many times before, you know that the smiles are just around the corner …and you’re right ~ they will be SO worth the wait!
I love that you were wearing your “So Loved” tee when you met her… how appropriate and perfect is that!! 🙂
Keeping you close in thought and prayer in the days to come, all while rejoicing that you finally have your precious baby girl in your arms. She is absolutely, breath-takingly, BEAUTIFUL!
Blessings & Hugs,
~ Tanya
my little xiaoya, my daughter from hangzhou, had a similar reaction on gotcha day. In fact, she wanted nothing to do with me for a long while. Just dad. So heart wrenching, but now? Now, it’s all I love yous and kisses and loves. You are so much better at this than I was.
Congrats and I love her! What a day.
She is exquisite. Precious photos really capture her little emotions. Can’t wait to see her first smile! So happy for you!
Can’t look at those pictures without tearing up. She is breath taking, beautiful, soulful, incredible. She is scared now, and understandably so, but that little gal is going to flourish with the enormous love of her new family. One of these days she is going to be grinning so much y’all won’t be able to stand it! 🙂
We’ve waited a long time for these photos! Thanks for sharing. She is stunning. You are sooo right! I’ll be praying for her adjustment to her new life on this day. God bless!!!!!!!!!!
What incredible pics of your sweet, sweet Poppy… thank you and what an angel… good thing I had the Kleenex near me right now!
God bless all of you during this trying, but so necessary time… time to adjust, time to heal, time to open up.
I can just imagine the sweet, sweet, angelic smile that baby has in her! I pray for wisdom, understanding, patience, and the incredible journey that you all are creating for this beautiful child.
God really is So Good!!
What a sweetie pie! She’s so sad now, but this is the path to great joy in her future, so it’s worth it. Love it that you are letting her set the pace, there is so little she has any say so about. So glad your son is there too. I know they are going to bond big time!
Poor baby girl! You will look back on the pics one day soon and though the sadness will still be seen, you’ll be able to reflect on the joy your girl has with her Mommy. Hugs to you and you and your girl’s hearts!
She is absolutely gorgeous and precious!!! So glad you are a family at last. Will be praying for her to very quickly know that you are safe and that she is SO LOVED.
OK – First of all.. If Zach is your backup photographer, he is doing an amazing job!!! These are so poignant and beautiful. Telling the story of a precious little girl, who is so brave and so scared at the same time… Only God can unfold her sweet little heart.. Soon she will know that she can trust you.. Inch by inch that rose will bloom.. Staring at her just gives me goosebumps.. There is just something about those gorgeous eyes of hers.. It’s like you can stare right into her soul…
I can’t think of a better mother and family to show her the way she should go..
Love from MN,
Diana
Congrats Stefanie! She will soon understand how loved and safe in your arms she is. Poppy is so beautiful and looks like she has a beautiful spirit as well. So happy for you my friend. Hugs.
Oh bless her heart! She is simply gorgeous! Congratulations! Praying for her little heart to feel loved and safe!
My heart is with you and Poppy and Zach… you are an amazing Mother… trust your instincts and know we are all sending good wishes your way! She’ll find her smile, when she’s ready 😉
Take care and travel safe!
Hi Stephanie. Poppy is gorgeous. We are praying for you all. On our last adoption trip, we stayed at the Garden Hotel too – don’t ya love it? Across the street, at the Pavilions, go to the Banana Leaf Restaurant. Awesome food – we ate there four times!
Blessings, Laurie
She takes my breath away and breaks my heart at the same time… Takes me back a few months to the first time I held my Isabella and she too was terrified…. praying for your beautiful daughter to know she is safe and loved very soon.
God’s speed home,
Daleea
You know…..I know you’ve been through this a time or two (ahem!) but I can only imagine that it gets no easier. Poppy has no idea of how full her life and heart are going to be when she finally realizes that she is home with her family…..her incredible family.
When I look at her face, I gasp at her beauty…..and, I must say, I keep seeing my own Jade in eyes and so many of her expressions…I’m not sure why…but I know for sure that when she gives her Mama that very first smile…..all these difficult moments between you two right now will be just a memory.
xoxoxoxo
Dita
Every time I visit, I swear It’s going to be the last time, but I keep coming back for more. I’m lying in bed crying abouta stranger’s baby I’ve never even met! It just kills me to see that sweet baby so frightened, my heart just breaks. I know poppy is very lucky to have you and you will do all you can to make that fear turn to joy. Sweet dreams tonight Poppy, you’re so loved by your mama Stephanie. I hope you discover this oh so soon.