We arrived at Civil Affairs before Poppy, which was good.
I so wanted to be there when she walked in with her nanny.
But I was as nervous as a cat, watching other families being made.
Witnessing the faces of children crying, coping, and falling apart.
And wondering what Poppy was going to do when she realized she was here, at this strange place, to meet me.
And she took my breath away.
She walked in cautiously, beloved ball in hand.
But as soon as the nanny encouraged her to go toward me, she crumbled.
I knew to expect it, but to see the little one you’ve loved from afar be so afraid? Of you?
Offered her bribes… of which she accepted none.
Wiped her tears.
And is very, very afraid of strangers.
So, instead of getting up in her grill, and satisfying my mama’s curiosity about what my sweet Poppy really looks like, smells like, and acts like, I determined to take it very slowly with her.
And let her set the pace.
She was stiff. Wary. Scared.
So I did my best to avoid a lot of unnecessary eye contact. And just focused on the things she seemed to not be afraid of… the stacking cups, the bubbles.
And would let me feed her bits of things we had been told were favorites.
I am so grateful that she will allow me to hold her and feed her. The rest of it I know will come in time.
Oh, and positively stunning.
And I have determined that I am not going to rush the smile that I know is in there.
I want to give her all the time she needs to feel safe with me.
Which, indeed, might take some time.
So grateful for those prayers because P.S. she slept through the night!