This is the fourth post in a 14-week study. More information and resources can be found here.
A quick note to those of y’all who are not participants:
– Please read along as we go through the study chapter by chapter, and contemplate the questions we’ll be tackling. It’s gonna be good!
– We will be utilizing the comment section as a forum for discussion for the participants only. I respectfully ask – if you are not participating – that you refrain from commenting on the Reason for God posts, simply to help keep things well… simple.
– We have an incredible group of women representing various ages, faith backgrounds and life experiences – I hope you’ll check out all they have to say.
It is my prayer that the participants, as well as those of y’all who will be reading along, will contemplate your own faith and understanding of God in a new, and more purposeful way.
Keller begins Chapter 3 by posing this question: “Is a belief in absolute truth the enemy of freedom?” Then he proceeds to, for the remainder of the chapter, deconstruct this commonly held notion. He quotes Chloe, a young artist from New York City, “The Christians I know don’t seem to be able to think for themselves. I believe each individual must determine truth for him- or herself.” (p.35).
Truth is Unavoidable
By claiming truth you are asserting power according to Nietzsche and his disciple Foucault…“Truth is a thing of this world. It is produced only by multiple forms of constraint and that includes the regular effects of power.” (p.37) But this argument cannot stand, explains Keller. If you say that all claims to truth are actually attempts to garner power, then this must include your very own statement.
G.K. Chesterton made a similar observation almost 100 years ago, “The new rebel is a skeptic, and will not trust anything [but] therefore he can never be really a revolutionary. For all denunciation implies a moral doctrine of some kind. Therefore the modern man in revolt has become practically useless for all purposes of revolt. By rebelling against everything he has lost his right to rebel against anything… there is a thought that stops thought. That is the only thought that ought to be stopped.”
Community Can’t Be Completely Inclusive
com·mu·ni·ty [kuh-myoo-ni-tee] noun.
1. a social group of any size whose members reside in a specific locality, share government, and often have a common cultural and historical heritage.
2. a locality inhabited by such a group.
3. a social, religious, occupational, or other group sharing common characteristics or interests and perceived or perceiving itself as distinct in some respect from the larger society within which it exists.
A community, by definition, is a group that shares characteristics and defines itself as distinct, because of those unique characteristics, from society as a whole. And yet, the Christian community has been accused of social divisiveness. True, it is not open to all and requires a certain set of beliefs in order to be a member. But isn’t this what community is all about?
Keller explains that there is a more important consideration. Determining the true nature of a community – whether it is caring and open or narrow and oppressive. “Which community has beliefs that lead it’s members to treat persons in other communities with love and respect – to serve them and meet their needs? Which community’s beliefs lead it to demonize and attack those who violate their boundaries rather than treating them with kindness, humility and winsomeness?” (p.40)
Christianity Isn’t Culturally Rigid
“It [Christianity] allegedly forces people from diverse cultures into a single iron mold.” (p.41)
The growth of Christianity has differed from that of other major religions because it has “adapted significantly and positively to the surrounding culture without compromising it’s main tenants.” (p.43) Keller shares an insight from African scholar Lamin Sanneh who explains that, “Christianity helped Africans to become renewed Africans, not re-made Europeans.”
He goes on to explain why Christianity has successfully infiltrated so many completely different cultures: “There is, of course, a core of teachings… to which all forms of Christianity are committed. Nevertheless, there is a great deal of freedom in how these absolutes are expressed and take form within a particular culture.” (p.45)
Freedom Isn’t Simple
Freedom to determine one’s own moral standards in order to achieve a full life has become a commonplace belief in modern society. But Keller says that this is an oversimplification. “In fact, in many cases, confinement and constraint is actually a means to liberation.” (p. 46) He gives the example of the fish who is only truly free if it is limited to life in the water. It’s potential for “a full life”, if moved onto land, would be impossible. In fact, it would be certain death.
“If we only grow intellectually, vocationally, and physically through judicious constraints – why would it not also be true for spiritual and moral growth? Instead of insisting on freedom to create spiritual reality, shouldn’t we be seeking to discover it and disciplining ourselves to live according to it?” (p.47)
Love, the Ultimate Freedom, Is More Constraining That We Might Think
“What is the environment that liberates us if we confine ourselves to it, like water liberates the fish? Love. Love is the most liberating freedom-loss of all.” (p.48)
If you want deep, meaningful love, you must be willing to sacrifice some of the freedoms of living simply for yourself. “We only become ourselves in love, and yet healthy love relationships involve mutual, unselfish service, a mutual loss of independence.” (p.49)
Initially, a relationship with God seems to be one-sided – we do all the serving because God has all the power. Although this is often true of other religions, it is not true of Christianity. “In the most radical way, God has adjusted to us – in his incarnation and atonement. In Jesus Christ he became a limited human being, vulnerable to suffering and death. On the cross he submitted to our condition – as sinners – and died in our place to forgive us. In the most profound way, God has said to us, in Christ, ‘I will adjust to you. I will change for you. I’ll serve you though it means a sacrifice for me.'” (p.50)
Indeed. When we sit under the weight of what Jesus did on the cross, we feel more than appreciation and gratitude. We feel so thankful and and so loved, that we are overwhelmed with love in return. And so springs up our desire to be like Christ. This is what motivates the Christ-follower.
C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity defines well the difference between wanting to “be good” and truly understanding – and being molded by – Jesus’ love. “… the Christian thinks any good he does comes from the Christ-life inside him. He does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us; just as the roof of a greenhouse does not attract the sun because it is bright, but becomes bright because the sun shines on it.”
God loved us first. “We love because he first loved us.” John 4:19. God initiates. We respond. And it is only when we are acting in response to His unconditional love and His infinite worth that we can do any of the things to which Jesus calls His followers. And understanding this distinction is crucial. In fact, it makes all the difference.
Question: Have you made sacrifices to cultivate a deep and loving relationship with the Lord? Was there something specific you were afraid to give up? What was the outcome?
My response: Absolutely. Most of the time it doesn’t even really feel like a sacrifice. More like something that simply needs to be done – sometimes joyfully sometimes dutifully depending on how closely I am walking with Him. Honestly, caring for those I love rarely feels like sacrifice. The beauty of sacrificing things for Jesus is that, if He asks, it is for our good and His glory. I don’t have to doubt or wonder if making this particular sacrifice is a good decision for me – I can trust that my Creator knows best. But does that mean I always respond this way? Absolutely not. And the more fearful I am of giving up or giving away something, the more closely I need to look at that *thing* and determine why it holds so much value. Is it an idol? Is it due to pride? Selfishness? Fear?
As far as something specific… hmmmm. There are so many, but one comes to mind right away. I have resisted giving up “control” of my children. As a mom, I naturally dreamed of what they might grow up to do. Who they might grow up to be. And I felt that, as their mother, I would play a strong role in their becoming this person or achieving that goal. But God. He has pried my fingers off of my children and reminded me, again and again, how much more He loves them that I ever, ever could. And that they, in the deepest sense, belong first and foremost to Him. God loves with a flawless and unconditional love… my love is so limited and so very flawed. Despite my overwhelming love for each of them, it is nothing like the love of their Father. And I am beginning to see the incredible blessing in this – I am not dependent on my children for meaning or happiness and they are not dependent on me. I can show them, by example, to look to God to meet their needs and to reveal who He created them to be… which is so much more beautiful than anything I could ever dream up.
Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” — John 8:31-32
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Great job, Stefanie, on the summary…I thought this was a difficult chapter to get through.
Absolutely nothing in my life can be considered a sacrifice because the other option (a relationship with God Himself) is so infinitely greater than anything else in my world. Kind of like saying, “oh, yeah, I will sacrifice this plate of dirty maggots for that plate of decadent chocolate cake.” There’s just no sacrifice to it! By the way, the chocolate cake from Costco is delicious and I now wish I had a piece…or 30. But I will say that I have sacrificed my relationship with God for things like family, ministry, a clean house, facebook, blog articles, etc. Not that those things aren’t good things…they just aren’t the BEST thing.
The second part of the question…afraid to give something up…reminded me of the time right before I believed in Jesus. I was fighting against everything God was doing to call me to Himself because I was afraid of losing my freedom. I could have been one of the people quoted in this chapter. I thought saying yes to God meant saying no to freedom…to what I wanted for my life…and just mindlessly following a bunch of rules (don’t say that word, don’t wear that dress, don’t date that guy!). Was I ever wrong! By the grace of God, I now have true freedom over so many of the things I was actually enslaved by before. And what you said was so true, Stefanie…if I see that I am starting to hold too tightly to something, I need to examine why and ask God to help me lay it at His feet.
Well said, Tish!!!
Amen!
Really great insight – trusting that as the Lord continues to grow me I will be able to fully understand just how infinitely valuable He is, above and beyond all and that my actions will, without even hesitating, reflect this. I think that I *know* this in my head, but it’s just not always the overflow of my heart.
Well said.
Funny you mentioned “control,” Stefanie. Because that’s the one word that’s been at the forefront of my brain all day after reading your overview this morning. Though my ongoing personal control issues are not exactly “sacrifices,” they are certainly the main things that take me away from God rather than bringing me closer to Him and allowing me to lean on Him. So, when I am able to “let go” (a small sacrifice, I suppose) and relinquish control to God whatever the circumstances, that’s when I am completely allowing (and trusting) God to drive, and then everything works out as it should. Why is this so darn difficult for me? Perhaps because I’m human…and Type A, at that.
While I struggle to think of good examples of sacrifices I’ve made in my life, mostly because I feel so blessed to still BE alive (I think I’ve used a LOT of guardian angel hours in my life), I guess the Lenten season comes to my mind the most, since this is a time in which I completely, and intentionally, make a sacrifice each year. And it has been a tremendous blessing EVERY TIME. The Lenten sacrifice always brings me to a deeper place with my faith journey and rekindles my flame to a new high! It’s the most spiritually-rewarding forty days of the year for me:)
I feel the same way. It is hard to give up control and at times it feels like a major sacrifice. Everything works so much better with God in control, but it’s still so hard to give it to Him at times.
I think the more we “let go” the more we realize that He IS in control of everything! We’ve had our hands on the wheel, so to speak, but he is holding the entire car in His hands. We fret and worry over things unnecessarily – He just wants us to look to Him!
I’m reminded of the verse in Matthew – “But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.” To me, this is God telling me to quit worrying about MY world and start busying myself with HIS world… and in return I can trust Him to handle everything in my world.
So true! Someone once told me that following the Holy Spirit was like following a wild goose. It makes absolutely no sense to you why you are going where you are going at the time, but eventually you end up where you need too be.
whoops…need to be.
I’d like to tell you that I have made sacrifices in my walk with God, sacrifices that have produced depth and fruit and righteousness. I’d like to tell you that I am in the habit of “giving things up” regularly.
But, I can’t.
I think my walk is oft characterized by laziness, apathy, confusion and selfishness. I can hear what Keller is saying at the end of the chapter—the pursuit of God, whatever the sacrifice, paradoxically brings freedom and richness. I can hear my own heart cry, “Yes, that’s what I want.” And, yet, I don’t act. I feel often that I—like Jesus’ closest disciples– have fallen asleep in the garden, only to Jesus’ pleadings for an invested heart, and only to fall asleep again.
And the part I don’t quite get, the part that has me truly perplexed in light of this chapter, is that it’s not like I have things/situations/agendas that I am unwilling to give up… It’s not to say that I don’t have idols of the heart, because I do, but in the end, I feel pretty ready to release them.
So, this question is hard. And, I think it’s hardest because my road seems pretty darn easy—I’m not sure Christ has asked much of me—and in the end, I still fall so very short. Thank goodness His grace is sufficient!
I’m right there with you. I’ve been on a read the Bible in a Year plan since 2009. I am ALWAYS behind and I’ve never actually made it through a year. I go in spurts with faithful listening to it, “binging” on God’s Word to catch up, and times I’ve gone weeks at a time without listening. I feel like I always want to do it, to spend time with God, but then I don’t actually do it. I am constantly reminding myself of both His grace and that I’m still closer to Him than I was in 2009.
Thank you so much for articulating this! I’m trying to compose my answers and currently question two read’s: “I can not think of anything to answer Stefani’s question here. I’m a bit afraid of what this may mean.” You expressed my feelings so articulately.
I’ve heard it referred to (J.I. Packer, specifically) as ‘thorns in our bed’ – when God uses difficult things or experiences to raise us out of our complacency, our apathy, in order to draw us to Himself. It is my prayer that God might use this study as that very thing!
The reason is that I have experienced this firsthand. I found myself surprisingly “lost” in my relationship with Jesus about a year and a half ago when the question was posed to me: “How would you feel if you were sitting across the table from Jesus? What would you say?” And when I honestly considered it, I realized I would be very uncomfortable, feel awkward and not really have much to say… this is how I would react to my Savior?!? That woke me from my slumber for sure! And since then, I’ve been chasing hard after a REAL relationship with Him… what He’s wanted from me all along. It’s been more wonderful that I could have every imagined 🙂
it is a great question to ask- as it really reveals where you are in your relationship with him- how you view him- how YOu think he views you. i forget that Jesus loves us– he see our heart and our attempts and our desires– and honors that– He’s not disappointed that we try and fail– i wish i parented more like that.
Yes and yes, Emily 🙂
Thanks for that question. It’s definitely something I need to ponder.
Erin,
YES! its like I was reading my own thoughts in what you wrote!
oh erin— so WITH you here– thank you for being so transparent. while there have been short seasons where i sacrificed– maybe for a retreat i was leading, etc– but overall– i feel so selfish– where am i when i wake up? in the Word or on the computer? and my heart’s desire is to give more and do more, but my flesh often wins out.:(
I agree also. Most of the things God asks of me are so small and I still seem to lack. I think I use life as an excuse. I have so much to do, as we all do, but I let that lead me instead of God. I started getting up early in the morning before anyone else for quiet time with God. This has made my life so much better. I feel so rushed most of the time and this quiet time helps me to start my day with God and to slow down.
Yay! Good for you in getting up early and honoring God with your ‘first fruits’ in the time department 🙂
Yes, I agree! We are in a season of waiting to adopt for the first time, and I am wondering and partially dreading what He will call me to give up. At times, my current children become my little idols, my easy attachment to them, their charming behavior. And things are so easy right now, sometimes I just fall asleep, like you said. Part of me is fearing the unease, the difficulty that may be coming (not that we are not so completely excited about this adventure He has set before us!). But I also know it will allow me to trust Him in ways I have not yet “needed” to.
Wow I read your post and feel a lot like I could have written it!
The only thing I can think of is that when I moved to China 8 years ago, I knew and verbalized my acceptance (to those praying with me over the decision) that it would make it likely I would not marry as soon as I’d like, maybe not at all during my time here. It has been true; there are many single women here and I can count on the fingers of both hands the number of single, believing men I’ve known here in this length of time; by now most of the ones I meet are also 6-8 years younger than I. I think it’s like that a lot of places around the world, don’t know why. It’s not a permanent sacrifice, though. I’ve found my heart and “direction” changing these past six months, and now I’m planning to move back to the States after the next school year, and I’ll admit the hope of marriage is part of it, but I don’t feel I’m running away, I feel this is the right path. Still, I gave up my long-time determination to get married and start a family younger than my parents, so I wouldn’t be as old as they were when my kids grew up and so my kids would have their grandparents around longer than I did. I am just passing the age at which my mom gave birth to me – she was almost 33; now I’m 33 and she just turned 66 – and it’s been a little more to die to and give away each year since I passed the age at which they got married years ago.
One other thought about sacrifice: at times of transition I’m ready to give up a lot, eg when I moved here I was ready to live out in a village with no Internet or other foreigners but went for a city since I didn’t know the language yet; once I got here I got comfortable and started to expect Internet and easy friendships and access to foreign food – it would be a lot harder now if I was to find myself led to a village! (Though I hope I would still go!)
Such honest and heartfelt responses; I found this week was really tough because it is very relevant to what is going on in my life and my heart right now. I want to be at a place where I would sacrifice anything for my God (and I have the intense joy of knowing women who are so strong in their relationship with Christ that they would) but I still have to work SO hard to let go of the little idols I hold so dear… every day I have to try and let them go again! After reading this discussion I think it is less about any of the little habits or luxuries and VERY much about giving up the control!! It is like I am saying “OK Jesus you can have my life but I am gonna keep this thing for me- sound fair?”
My husband and I live in the same small town from whence we graduated high school. Many of our classmates still live here, as well. We have discovered that we have had to sacrifice relationships with these friends in order to pursue a more godly lifestyle which brings honor to Him. Many of our old “friends” live the bar scene on the weekends. We decided years ago–even before kids–that we would not partake of that life. Over the years, we have been invited less and less until now it’s almost never that we are asked to “hang out” with the buddies from high school. Even friends who live out of town have shunned us since we’ve refused one too many times to meet them at the nearest bar to reminisce over old times.
To be quite frank, I’m not sure this even qualifies as a sacrifice. Maybe for my husband it does more than for me, because he’s lived here his entire life. I don’t want to be friends with people who live that way. That’s not to say that I’m not nice and kind to them whenever our paths might happen to cross. I just don’t care to jeopardize my relationship with God and my witness to the world by giving in to their demands. It does hurt a little, though. To be cast aside by these people over something as trivial as drinking, rather than filling up on each others’ lives through conversation and fellowship. There is a little sting to it, no doubt.
But I “count it all joy” to live my life for Christ. Are there other sacrifices that I’ve had to make? You bet! Probably about a 1,000 or so…and they all begin with “me.” I have to sacrifice my desires for His every.single.day. Some days that’s easy to do. Some days it’s not. But again, I can look back and see how God has honored my sacrifices for Him, and I see where He has worn smooth some of my rough edges. And for that I am eternally grateful to Him.
So, is Christianity a straightjacket? Well, like Keller says, even love is a straightjacket of sorts. To those IN love, it is a joy and a privilege to lives one’s life for the other. To those OUT of love, it looks confining, restraining, and downright restricting. Our job is to shine so that others WANT to be IN and not OUT.
Amy
P.S. Here’s an oldy but a goody: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoMafmhYKto
Good for you for being true to yourself. I was treated differently when I was younger and after a while I gave in because I was tired of being left out. I wish I had been stronger then and looking back now I think how silly some of that was. I have learned from this and I finally realized what was most important and it isn’t pleasing the world, but God. I am still pulled by worldly desires, but I keep looking to God and He is always there. I want my life to pull others God’s way and not for me to allow myself to be pulled away.
“I want my life to pull others God’s way and not for me to allow myself to be pulled away.”
You said it, April!
Be encouraged! ♥
I love your response Stefanie! I never looked at “control” as a sacrifice. I grew up Catholic and a sacrifice would have been giving up chocolates, cursing and drinking. These things seam silly to me in comparison to control. As a mother I to felt that I had a big part in molding my children into successful adults. I took all their triumphs and defeats personally. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that I wasn’t in control of anything! God was and I had to trust that he would take care of them and he did. It was my “aha” moment. God is good always!
Isn’t it such a RELIEF to finally recognize His sovereign control over everything… including our kids?! Frees us in such a mighty way 🙂
Oh yes, many many sacrifices… Funny I look back now at what seemed “sacrifice” and with hindsight see perfectly how it has grown my heart and led me to not only a deeper relationship with God but with other people.
One major sacrifice was with my fertility. It was difficult to hand that over to God for so many reasons. When I embraced my faith (was raised Catholic but didn’t really live it until I was 26) I began a journey of learning. One beautiful truth I learned was about my femininity and what a gift it was to be a woman. We are wonderfully made and I honestly did not realize that birth control was working against my marriage (how can you give the complete gift of yourself to your spouse while holding the procreative aspect back) and it worked against the nature of my body. Learning natural family planning was very difficult for us at first, oh I could tell some stories! I remember praying, pleading with God, “how can this be the right thing to do when it is causing such a problem between us?”. But that was it, NFP also exposed all our weaknesses as a couple. By God’s grace we stuck to it and are realizing the blessings in our marriage that come from unselfish love, charity and humility. But absolutely the greatest blessing from my “sacrifice” is my awareness of God as a loving Father who knows whats best for me and who finally gave me the marriage I always desired just for allowing Him into it.
The very places we try to keep God out of are the places we need Him the very MOST!
How true!
Again, this is such a difficult chapter. It really caused me to dig deep. I love Keller’s discussion on page 46 of the musician who has given himself to hours of practice, which could be viewed as a restriction. However, Keller says, “You’ve deliberately lost your freedom to engage in some things in order to release yourself to a richer kind of freedom to accomplish other things.”
That is where I find my answer to this week’s question. While I would never consider anything I’ve given up a sacrifice compared to what Jesus has done for me, I’ve certainly allowed God to weed the garden of my heart and prompt me to let go of a lot. Coming to know Christ as an adult could have been viewed as a sacrifice because I essentially lost my life as I knew it at the age of 36. I had a great career, a nice enough home and a ‘typical’ family with three children. Immediately upon following Jesus, my perspective and priorities changed. Not out of duty, but in response to loving the Lord. I desired differently.
The things of value in this world were not as important to me. The hardest ‘sacrifices’ I’ve made are severing relationships with people who are critical of the Lord’s plans for our family, and finances. We desire to live simply, but our desire to follow the Lord also means living on very little at times. God is so faithful to always provide all we need, whether a little or a lot. We do not have jobs that come with paid vacation or family leave, so the time we invest volunteering is hard financially… but richly rewarding. As Keller says, “You’ve deliberately lost your freedom to engage in some things in order to release yourself to a richer kind of freedom to accomplish other things.”
I would never go back to my life before Jesus!
Love this: “While I would never consider anything I’ve given up a sacrifice compared to what Jesus has done for me, I’ve certainly allowed God to weed the garden of my heart and prompt me to let go of a lot.” He is the perfect Gardener, isn’t He? And what beautiful treasures He give us in return when we allow Him to rid our hearts of those ‘things’ (that really are no good for us anyway ;))
One of my biggest sacrifices was moving to Florida to go to grad school. Okay, I know some of you are thinking that FL is pretty much paradise; but as a Midwesterner who loves winter and doesn’t like weather above 80 degrees, FL was a sacrifice. I moved 2000 miles away from family and friends to spend the majority of my time studying. I was an outcast in my department due to my lack of heavy drinking and partying. Through this sacrifice, God brought me into a group of online friends that taught me how to be in a real relationship with Jesus. Plus, He made sure school was so hard that I had to completely lean on Him to make it through. By doing so gave up my school idol to Him and am now 100% certain that I never could have done it without Him.
I think a move can be a really big deal, even to Florida 😉 Good for you for being obedient, it sure sounds like He has blessed you in many ways!
He has blessed me in many ways. I moved a lot as a child (every few years) and they are definitely big deals. One of my favorite parts of moving though is getting to start over. No one knows my past mistakes or failures. They still happened and I learned from them, but they aren’t glaring to the people around me. I feel like it’s a time I can really see God’s grace. I get a fresh start. I get to grow closer to Him with each move as I have to rely on Him for being there for me when I don’t know anyone else yet. Now if only He would move all the actual boxes and do all the packing and unpacking without me needing to do anything 🙂
I think that I don’t regularly really think about the things I give up in order to be a Christ-follower. Perhaps it is because I have become complacent in examining my life and what might be hindering me from a closer walk with God. But I will say that having an 11 year old in my house has made me contemplate what it is that makes us different and how our choices can glorify God. Having to explain to my daughter why we don’t do or do do X, Y or Z reminds me of the higher purpose of our actions. And I love that she, so far, doesn’t view these choices as constraints – just part of her testimony.
I agree, Suzette! My 11 and 13 year olds are a constant reminder to me of my need for grace and for ALL of our desperate need for the Word of God! We have started reading the Bible every morning (One Year Bible Companion and it’s great!) and I have so enjoyed listening to my boys read His Word aloud. It’s one of my very favorite parts of my day 🙂
This is a really interesting question. My first thought was no, I haven’t had to make any sacrifices. Then I realized that along my journey in life and growing in my relationship with God, I have given up the ‘need to understand or know.’ I think I was and to some extent still am a doubting Thomas—seeing is believing kind of person. I think sometimes when we look at all our blessings in this type of light; we tend to miss out more than we notice .
It was during graduate school that I came to the realization that I didn’t need to know and understand everything. This was true in my academic studies and I realized if it was true in that setting it would also be true in my understanding all of the “Why’s” we tend to ask God. So I let it go. The result is that my faith has strengthened and I feel freer in that strength.
Faith is so essential to the Christian walk. Reading your comment, Hebrews 11:1 came to mind – Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. And 11:6 – Without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.
And how much MORE can we trust not knowing all the “whys” when it is God we are asking?!
My first instinct was that I don’t really sacrifice much. But then I thought hard, and dug deeper. I did not walk with the Lord for a period of time. I was seeking love in all the wrong places, and living a lifestyle that was not pleasing to God at all! But over time, God got my attention and I resumed my walk with Him. It’s been hard work to grow close to Him again. I don’t have any of the same friends. It’s been tough to overcome the guilt and shame of so many choices I made back then. But I don’t see any of it as a true sacrifice. The love GOD shows me is so much better!
Wow, Teresa – what a beautiful testimony to the patient, merciful and PERFECT love of God 🙂 And AMEN, His love is SO much better!
I think that anything that felt like a kind of sacrifice for a moment turned out not to be. Certainly there have been times when, as Father peeled my clinched fingers off of some idol, the process seemed painful. And it at times was. There were reasons for why I was so tightly clinging to that thing, and even if I could barely recall or articulate them all, my fingers may have been so tightly wound around the thing for so long that I just could not imagine it any other way. But the truth is, whether He revealed to me something to give up through the Holy Spirit and I gladly walked away or whether the “letting go” that I was called to do was slow and more painful, it has ALWAYS ended in joy and freedom.
HE is the treasure! The more His grace allows me to taste that and know that and the more I know and love Him, the easier and easier it gets to make any kind of “sacrifice” and the more I desire nothing besides Him. And the more I trust His infinitely good wisdom over my own.
Some specific examples could be making career-associated decisions and letting temporal definitions of success go in exchange for eternal definitions, increasing my awareness that all of my possessions—including my life are HIS to use as He pleases, etc. There are plenty of examples like that in my life. I certainly have not always easily been willing to “sacrifice.” Overall though, I would say the most impacting thing for me—and the most challenging thing for me, has not been giving up one particular thing. It has been the movement I have made (imperfectly and by His grace alone) to having an attitude of free and willing and joyful surrender of all—including my definition of “fair,” my ideas of my own comfort, purpose, etc. Of course this work of the heart and the mind have to come before any kind of true surrender, and the deeper I let Him prune in these areas, the more joy I experience in the “sacrifice.”
So beautifully said, Hillary. And this? Love! “HE is the treasure! The more His grace allows me to taste that and know that and the more I know and love Him, the easier and easier it gets to make any kind of “sacrifice” and the more I desire nothing besides Him.”
I feel like for me the struggle comes in the form of relationships, but not in the very obvious way. At 18, I still have never dated, and I am very okay with that – I’m still waiting for the right guy. But my biggest issue is the gray area with friends, especially when I have many, many friends who don’t believe what I do, and very few who do. I find myself closer to the people with different beliefs, because we have more in common interest wise. I know there are lots of Christians out there with similar interests, but I just have yet to meet many. Especially being in such a transitory time in my life (about to go to college, no real “church family” anymore, just leaving high school) I feel like I’m constantly walking a thin line with the boundaries of having good friends of all beliefs, which I know is okay, and still making sure that I am firmly grounded in God. None of my friends drink or party or do bad things, which makes it even more gray. Perhaps, none of this makes sense. But as I read through this chapter, this is what it kept surfacing in my mind. Where is that line between friends vs God?
I can imagine that is difficult, Savi. Do you have an older person who can mentor you and help you stay grounded in your faith? As a believer among non-believers, your opportunity to witness is awesome, but you need to be sure you’re rooted in community with other believers, even if, initially, you don’t have a whole lot in common besides loving Jesus 🙂
I’m having a hard time coming up with an answer. Maybe because my mom is visiting and things are crazy. I’m somewhere between define sacrifice and is it really sacrifice if it’s not so bad? Then I wonder am I really giving anything of consequence up for God?
I hope that even though I’m having a hard time, someone looking at how I live my life would see the sacrifice. I hope that the time I give, the way I choose to live my life is evident to others without boasting about what I do. In the end, as I consider things, I think because I know what God has done for me, my sacrifice seems so very little. I know I sacrifice for my kids and I barely see it. I hope that I’m not seeing my sacrifice for God because of the relationship I have with Him.
I can relate, Brandi. I think, as we walk more closely with Him, what we give up becomes less and less important – because our relationship with Him becomes more and more important.
Yes, absolutely. However the closer I get to God they don’t seem like sacrifices. The more I learn about God the more I realize what seemed like a sacrifice was really something that was better for me. I do still fight some of these changes for many reasons – selfishness, pride, wanting to please, laziness. I know God has the best plan but sometimes my desires for this world get in the way, unfortunately. I know better and I hear God, but I just want to do things my way. This is getting better and life is better because of it. Hopefully someday soon I will fully realize this.
My something specific has to do with my marriage and giving up my selfishness and pride in our relationship. It took me a long time to realize that it is not about me, but about pleasing God and doing what He wants, no matter how I am currently feeling. I wanted to make my husband happy and be a good wife, but on my terms when I felt like it (pretty selfish). I bought into the lie of getting married and losing who I am and not doing what was good for me, so I was not going to let that happen. I thought I would lose myself, but just the opposite happened when I finally started listening to God and being the wife for my husband that God wanted me to be. When I do things to please my husband I please God and I am fully finding me in this. My marriage is more than I could have imagined. I just had to actually hear God and do what He wanted. At first this might have seemed like a sacrifice in my worldly head, but now it doesn’t at all. Seeing my husband happy makes me happy and on days when I am feeling grumpy I just keep my eyes on God. God did love us first and loving Him more and more is what I pray for every day. God always knows best. When I think I am sacrificing I just think that He only wants the best for me. I still stuggle and can’t say I always listen and obey, but I know God won’t give up on me and so I just keep on keeping on.
This has been a hard answer for me because God took me on a detour in the book…..my heart needed to be broken and He knew just the pages to do it.
The sacrifice I have made and will have to continue to make is that of the love of material things. It is the ugliest part of my heart and it makes me cringe to write it but there it is.
I want a newer car, desperately. I have longed for and coveted a car that has been dangled before me for the last 8 months. It is one of those deals you can’t find anywhere and we really can’t afford anything else. The lady who owns it is in the process of buying a new one, (yes for 8 months)and I have been “patiently” waiting. When my husband gently pointed out that maybe part of our delay was because I was so consumed with it. I was so mad. I felt like a cruel trick was being played on me. I ranted and raged in my heart for all of Sunday…..let me just say that it was ugly. I am surprised and thankful that I wasn’t struck down like Ananias.
But Monday morning His grace was new again and I saw that my worth is not in my house, or the car I drive. It’s in Him and how I show Him to others. I can’t love His people the way He wants me to if I am loving things that have no eternal value.
This has been a tough question for me – I have realized, like so many of you above, that the sacrifices that I have made, on THIS side of the sacrifice prove only to be something that God has used to refine me. So the term sacrifice doesn’t seem to “fit’ anymore. Did they hurt at the time – absolutely; but would I change it – never.
My hardest thing to “give up” was control in my marriage. I married my high school sweetheart. For YEARS (like 20) I was always trying to be his Holy Spirit (you know what I’m talking about). I just wanted Him to dig in to the Word, to love it like I did. I would copy bible studies and leave them for him. Make little comments here and there. Looking back I was pretty annoying and to be honest, I think I enjoyed being the one that “in charge” in that area. Until one night, I had the realization that perhaps it wasn’t my husband – it was ME. I wasn’t being a good example of what Jesus would look like because I sure was becoming a nag. So, I laid it all down. I gave our marriage to Him and asked the Lord to just step in and get me out of the way… and, over the course of a year, He sure did. It’s been a huge learning process for me – knowing that God uses me in ways that HE sees fit – not in the ways that I SEE fit. Which leads me to one of my highlighted parts of the chapter…
“…Reinhold Niebuhr has pointed out that irony, amusement at seeing human beings try but fail to be Godlike, is as very Christian way of looking at things.”
That was very eye opening to me and it freed me from feeling so worthless in the areas that I seem to always fail and need to be “re-taught.” I think that if I displayed that attitude in all aspects of my life, I sure would be different.
I don’t feel like I have a lot to add. I agree with many of the above posters that it was a difficult chapter and what I would call a sacrifice is hardly that. There are times I can think of specific things the Lord has asked me to give something up. At times, I was too stubborn to do it and other times I was willing to let it go freely. But, still, to call some of these things sacrifices seems extreme.
One time, while I was being particularly stubborn, was to let go of a relationship I was in. We were both holding on, knowing full well we needed to let go. After too long of a time, it ended and left me with more pain than I would’ve been in otherwise. Additionally, I “wasted” precious years at a very fun stage of life. Of course, good things came because of it and it all worked itself out, but at the time, it was very real.
The only thing that had me thinking beyond that question was the very first part of the chapter with Chloe and Keith. It reminds me of a time, as a new believer, that there seemed to be a mold or a pattern to follow if you were a Christian. If you’re a rule follower or a people pleaser, it’s not hard to conform to what is generally allowed within the Christian community. If you tend to have a rebellious side or want to push the boundaries, your faith may be in question by the same community. Now, I feel like I’ve been released of the pattern or what things should look like. There is infinite freedom when you look at Christianity through these lenses instead of the former. You have a wine tasting with girlfriends? You commune with God while in the woods? You vagabond around a foreign country? You skip church for a family event? You’re an artist who connects with God through color? The freedom within Christ, while holding on to the universal truth of Him, is infinite.
This has been a hard year for me when it comes to sacrificing my understanding. Our oldest dang hyper has really struggled with medical problems this year and every time we have a procedure I think, “this is it, all of the symptoms are finished.” I’m am then shown that this is only the beginning and we only took care of one layer of problems only to uncover more. I get frustrated, tired, anger and DON’T UNDERSTAND. This has lead me to a wonderful set of scriptures that I have just had to cling to get me through. My fav. Psalm 91:4 ” He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.” How wonderful that when it doesn’t make sense and it all gets to hard to understand I can hold on to these truths and find rescue for He is always faithful. Which then leads me to Isaiah 55:8-9 8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,”declares the Lord.As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts ” .I have sacrificed the need to understand and grown in really learning what it means to rest in HIM.
Wow, I’m so glad I waited to answer this question. I gained so much insight from all of your answers! I love when you read the stories of others and though the situation may be different, the feelings and emotions can strike a chord. Like many of you mentioned, my sacrifices seem so insignificant when I try to list them. Most of the things that God has asked me to give up have been so small that I’m almost embarrassed by my lack of sacrifice.
One area of sacrifice that I do struggle with is my time. God has asked me to give my time to further his kingdom. I’m currently volunteering in several areas of my church and in my job. And lately I’ve just felt burnt out. I even started resenting one area of my volunteering. A couple of weeks ago though, God opened my eyes to how he is using me. He has given me a talent for serving and the love for it. Why am I trying to run away from that just because it got hard? I want to continue to honor God and grow closer to Him through my service. I try to remember Nehemiah 6:3 “I am doing a great work, and I cannot come down.” It’s only a sacrifice if you make it one.
Great Stuff Ladies!!
Delayed with posting this week.
The one thing that I’m actually currently struggling with is being a part of a bible study. My husband is really into it and it’s something that he wants us to do together. I on the other hand, I practically dread wednesday nights. I don’t know what it is. I wish I could enjoy it. I believe that God will reward me if I become more plugged in, but it’s as though I have my walls up and don’t want to get invested. My husband asked me if I’ve been hurt before in a small group, but I don’t think that is it. Part of me doesn’t want to give up my “me” time. After working all day, I just want to sit on the couch and catch up on the “house wives” sadly that’s the truth 🙁
I keep praying that God would change my heart and my attitude. I want to support my husband and be there by his side. Mostly I want to please God and not be so selfish! Sorry this is not very organized but just trying to get my thoughts out.
Thanks for reading 🙂
ugh…i’ve been there! and the difficult thing is that in your own strength the heart change you desire won’t happen, but as you do make those efforts of obedience to be in the Word, by the power of HIs Spirit and His Word, He will change your desires and give you a hunger for more of Him!
thanks Tish – that’s what I need to hear! We’re also struggling to find a church we both like. We continue to pray for God’s guidance and direction!!
I was running this week quite literally… VBS coming up and Grandma is visiting. I finally got a blog post together. Thought I would post the link in case anyone was interested.
http://www.stifffamily.com/2013/06/02/the-reason-for-god-chapter-3-legalism-in-the-church/
just read it, brandi! so much to chew on, right? i think the aim keller comes with in it all is LOVE…your example of the tween helper reminded me of this. she wanted to help, but didn’t have love fueling her actions.
First, I have to say that I am so lovin’ this book and Bible Study! I love reading all of your comments.
Second….nothing like getting my thoughts here at the very last minute! lol
Any sacrifices I have made to spend more time with the Lord really don’t seem like sacrifices, but then that makes me think…..am I REALLY sacrificing???? I know I DO need to spend more time with Jesus…..so this means I need to look closely at myself and see what is holding me back? What idol? What fear? Hmmmmmm??? Self-examination is scary, but I pray for God to reveal to me what and how I should sacrifice for our time together.
As far as ‘giving something up’ is concern……I would have to say that I use to be a Type A person…..now I would say i am about a Type B- person. lol Giving up control over my marriage and how I want my kids to be, and how clean my house should be….etc……has been so freeing. I use to be such a ‘detail’ person…..and now, not so much. Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t gone all ‘willy-nilly’, but I have certainly grown in my trust for the Lord. I have found that if I just give over these things to Him and then let Him direct me or just let Him take care of these ‘deets’, I have more time to enjoy all the blessings God has given me. I seem to be enjoying life and all the little things more now than ever!