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How does your man measure up?

Sent to me by my buddy Stephanie:

THE NEXT “SURVIVOR” SERIES

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a
list of ‘pretend’ bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and
send cards out on time.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor’s appointment, a dentist
appointment and a haircut appointment . He must make one unscheduled and
inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a
holiday or right when they’re about to leave for vacation).

He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting
flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all
chores are done.

Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stupid song
that comes on TV and the name of each and every character on cartoons.

Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a
tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

Each man must adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish
shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed. The men must try to
get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their clothing.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal
cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once
complain or slow down from other duties. They must try to explain what a
tampon is for when the 6-yr old boy finds it in the purse.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once
to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

He will need to read a book to the children each night without falling
asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their
hair each morning by 7:00 . They must leave the home with no food on their
face or clothes.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be
required to know all of the following information: each child’s birthday,
height, weight, shoe size , clothes size and doctor’s name. Also the child’s
weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child’s
favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink,
favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. and then spend the
remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand and foot
until they are better.

They must have a loving, age appropriate reply to, ‘You’re not the boss of
me’.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins
only if…he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a
moment’s notice.

After you get done laughing, send this to as many females as you think will
get a kick out of it and as many men as you think can handle it.~

Chris would have held up pretty well until it came time to be tested on birthdays, height, weight, shoe size. And thank goodness… the man is a better mom than I am!

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10.03.07 · Uncategorized 5

Comments

  1. Sophie's Mom says

    October 3, 2007 at 2:03 AM

    Oh, that is GOOD. Will have to print for my hubby! 😉

    Reply
  2. Mike & Ramona says

    October 3, 2007 at 12:16 PM

    Oh dear… I think Mike would do better than me on most of this stuff. He is by far the better house keeper and chauffeur! (I would win at remembering dates though!)

    Reply
  3. tiffany says

    October 3, 2007 at 3:04 PM

    Well Rick will have a TINY test this weekend when I head up the mountain for a scrapbook retreat. 🙂 So I think he rates pretty well just for agreeing to let this mommy have a weekend long break! 🙂

    Reply
  4. Heather says

    October 3, 2007 at 6:57 PM

    This is so good – my husband could build the camp (a contractor:-) and then that would be the end of him – a survivor he is not! Gave me a really good chuckle!

    Heather

    Reply
  5. Janet says

    October 3, 2007 at 8:27 PM

    MY.HUSBAND.WOULD. NOT . SURVIVE.

    Reply

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I'm Stefanie. Wife to one, mom to 13. Occasional blogger and t-shirt maker. Wannabe photographer and exerciser. Constant grace-needer and orphan advocator. more
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