I would love to spend the entire afternoon getting you guys caught up on things, but I can’t. I leave this afternoon with Shepherd for his last visit to Iowa City… tomorrow is his tenotomy and his last casting.
I know I’ve been quiet. Besides not having internet access (which has probably been a HUGE blessing for many reasons) I’ve just really been struggling on many levels. Things are tough right now… the move, the stress, the kids’ additional needs, the new house turning out to be quite a bit more work than we had anticipated (WAY more). I’m overwhelmed, pooped and quite honestly, surprised at how poorly I am holding up. It has been one thing after another, big and small, and I when I just barely feel like I have caught my breath, something else happens.
Then, on Saturday my sister called to tell me that our Dad had died. He was 76 and although his health had been declining rapidly in the last few months, it was a shock. My sadness is more for myself than for him, he was a Christian and I have complete confidence that he is enjoying heaven in his new, perfect body. But I miss him. I have been flooded with memories of him since he died, in fact there doesn’t seem to be a day that passes that I don’t see something that reminds me of him so vividly, it’s impossible to hold back the tears. The funeral was Tuesday so I flew to Atlanta on Monday and arrived home yesterday.
I wish it were all roses and rainbows in my post today, but sometimes He knows what we need instead is the rain. If you think of it, please keep us in your prayers đŸ™‚
you don’t know me but I check your blog often to see your updates. We too have adopted from China and your stories about your children are an inspiration to me. Just know you are being lifted up from down here in Texas. I will be praying for you.
sincerely,
Branda
You are in my prayers! I am sorry for your loss. My you find comfort in God’s unending love and know he will carrying you through this. I lost 2 loved ones this year (my sister and grandmother) so I understand your grief and know how it can make the simple trials in life harder. I found it comforting to know that during that time God was always with me.
God Bless you and your beautiful family,
Kelly O’Rourke
Your definately in my prayers and I am sorry for your loss. Hang in there, when I find myself overwhelmed I always find comfort in knowing He will never give me more than I can handle even thought at times being in the moment its hard for me to see. Praying for you, Kathy
Hi Stefanie, I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. Please know I’m praying for you as you journey through your grief and all the other BIG things going on in your life. Hang in there!! God will never let you fall. We miss you!!
God bless,
Amy
Oh dear. That is a lot on your plate. I am so sorry for your loss most of all. And I hope the other things get worked out and you get settled in your new home soon. Wishing you rainbows and double rainbows very soon.
Precious Stefanie, you are loved.
I am praying for you.
`so sorry – hugs and prayers…..
Sandy
Praying for you all during this time. May you find comfort in your loved ones and your memories. Good luck to you and Shepard as you travel to Iowa City.
God Bless, Ashley
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Stefanie,
My prayers and thoughts are with you at this time. Things will get better:) It is hard to move and get things straight and not have the perfect house be perfect, there’s always more work than you would think. Your kids are such an inspiration and you will make it. Sorry to hear about such sad news but your father is in Heaven with the Lord and he is telling you don’t be sad, be happy that he is not in pain and he is happy, celebrate life like you haven’t before.
Good Luck traveling with Shepherd and his feet look awesome!!
Cindy
prayers are with you and your family as you begin the process of saying good-bye.
love,
Janelle
Oh Stefanie – I am so sorry, but as you sais your dad is rejoicing with his Father. Praying that your days get better!
“Tomorrow is another day” ~Scarlett O’Hara
Prayers
Please don’t be so hard on yourself. I’m so sorry for your loss and I wish I could help.
Pam in Indiana
I am so sorry to hear about your dad and all your new struggles. You’re in my prayers.
Stefanie,
I am so sorry to hear about your dad. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers. I pray that those are healing showers falling on you today. You will see the rainbow again.
Hugs,
Sharon
I know so well your grief having lost my mom just a short 4 years ago. I will be praying for you and the loss that you feel. Lean on God and let Him wrap His arms around you.
Margie
I am so sorry to hear about your dad but I am thankful that you are reassured by where he is now. But the pain of being left behind is great even with the security. I will be praying for you and the rest of your family.
I hope you get settled into your new place quickly. I can only imagine the stress you are feeling with all of your responsibility. Hang in there. I know you are very strong and He will carry you when you need it.
Love ya!
I am so sorry for your loss. We will absolutely remember you all in our prayers! Please take some time for yourself in all the madness of the move and craziness. You must take care of you……if you are to take care of everyone else.
Much love Sweetie!
Steph, I am so sorry, you are in my prayers.
You’re in my thoughts and prayers!
So sorry for your loss and the flood that threatens to overwhelm. I appreciate your transparency and honesty. You could just fake it.
I live in Iowa and have enjoyed the fact that, even though we do not know one another, it feels nice to have you here with your precious children.
Prayers to lift you up, comfort and refresh you.
Oh Stefanie…I am so sorry to hear about your Dad! You certainly do have a lot on your plate these days! Blessings to you and you family! You will all be in our prayers!!!
Dear friend
Our family is definately thinking of yours…sending hugs.
take a breath, we all miss you when you are gone, but you really need to take some time to get sorted out.
Shepherds feet look wonderful!!
You inspire us all.
Baby boys feet are lookin'good, girl!
I am sorry that your dad has passed. You cry as much s you need to. Sometimes we get so overwhelmed that there is nothing left to do but cry. I will pray that you will be able to rest when you get back from the doctor & that your rainbow finds you soon.
Love you, Sister/Friend.
Andrea
Just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking of you and lifting you and your family up in prayer.
Katie in NY
Stefanie,
I am so sorry for your loss and the struggle you are feeling right now. I can’t imagine how overwhelming it must be. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers and know this to will pass.
Tammy
sorry for your loss and you and your family are defintely in our prayers. Even when we know it is best, it is hard to accept sometimes. God never gives us anything we cannot handle.
Stephanie — I, too, am so sorry for your loss. I will be thinking of you at this difficult time.
Prayers said ~
Stefanie, I am so sorry about your Dad. I have on my fridge a thought that I find strength and comfort from. “If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.” I am thinking of and praying for you.
I am so glad to hear that Shepherd is almost done with casting. We think Lizzie has about 6 more to go!! Hang in there!!!
Ann
Dear, sweet Stefanie, I am so sorry for your loss. I pray for your strength to endure & that you find peace in the memories that you hold close in your heart. The Lord will comfort you & He will provide. And know that you have my prayers & heartfelt sympathy.
Love ya!
Patricia
I’m so sorry for your loss. I really found comfort in Mary Beth Chapman’s words on Larry King Live — the ground may feel hard, your face may fall flat on it, but the foundation is there, present, firm. Hugs to you.
I’m so sorry about your dad. I will definitely keep you in my prayers!
Praying…..
we are sorry for your loss and praying for you while you grieve. praying your trip goes smooth and that things start falling back into place soon.
many hugs
jill s.
I will be praying for you, too. I’m so sorry for YOUR loss, but I’m glad you have comfort in the knowledge of where he is and how he is. Blessings and God’s peace be with you.
i’m so sorry, stefanie…i wish i could head over to your place and help you out with some painting and unpacking…and give you a big hug. love you.
Dear Stef,
I am so sorry to hear about your father’s passing. I know you must be going through so much right now. Know that you are in our prayers and our thoughts. I read a wonderful book called Final Gifts after my Dad passed away and it helped me a lot. Maybe you should read it too. Know that our hearts are with you and your family at this time. Hang in there, get as much rest as possible, let others take care of you for a change, and think of all of the happy times you had with your papa. He will be watching over you too.
Madeline
Coming out of the closet to say that I’m so sorry things aren’t going well for you right now. Please know that this lurker really enjoys your blog…the good, the bad, and the sad. We also adopted from China and I have enjoyed following your adoptions. You and your family are an inspiration but you are allowed a bad day, a bad week, a bad month even. Please don’t apologize!
Take care of yourself and know that I have lifted you up in prayer as well.
Kateri
http://www.thefiveofus.typepad.com
Stefanie,
Wishing I could hug you, sister, and just be still with you. I am so sorry that it is raining right now. I am praying for your family.
Love,
Sara
Awww Stef – you were in my prayers anyway for all that is going on, but I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. It is never the right time to lose people we love…we can rest in knowing He holds us tightly in the palm of His hand…in sadness, in new house, in medical issues, in everything that comes across our path.
Thinking of you and sending hugs
Love,
Heather
Oh Stefanie,
I am so, so sorry to hear of your loss… We will pray for your beautiful family.
Blessings,
Kim
I’m so sorry for your loss. I will keep y’all in my prayers.
Blessings,
Carla
I’m so sorry. I hope you get some extra hugs from the kids to help you feel a bit better.
So sorry to hear of your loss of your father and that so much is going on all at once. Your family is in our thoughts and prayers. Blessings, Wendy
Stefanie –
So sorry to hear about your dad. Please know you are in our thoughts and prayers.
Blessings to you and your family.
Cathy
Camie’s momma
Hi Stefanie,
I’m so so sorry about your dad. It’s so hard to lose a parent. When I lost both of mine I felt lost and alone. We will always miss them and always be reminded of them in something we see everyday. Please know that you and your beautiful family are in our prayers and thoughts.
Hugs,
Carla
I am one of your regular viewers. I enjoy all of you posts. I feel your sadness. Moving always seems to be waaay more difficult, but in the end you build a new home.
I am so sorry about your dad. I know your pain, my dad died suddenly too. Take the time to feel your loss and find comfort in his eternal peace.
I am sorry for your loss and all the added stress.
Oh Stephanie, I am soooo sorry to hear about your father. My thoughts and best wishes go out to you.
Your cup is running over. I cannot imagine losing a parent in the midst of all your change. Your way up on the stress scale girl!!
Please know I did pray for you and I am so sorry to hear about your Dad.
Sincerely,
Karen Whitt
Stefanie, You are in prayers EVERYDAY my good friend! Keep the FAITH!
HUGS and LOVE,
-Nicole
Praying for you Stefanie. May Jesus give you peace and strength and all that you need today. Leigh
I am so sorry to hear about your loss amongst all the other craziness in your life right now. My deepest sympathies.
I hope you have a friend you can vent too and cry on there shoulder.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your Dad. What a comfort it must be to know that he is whole and healthy and worshipping the KING right now. I will pray for you all – as the hardest part is being the ones left behind.
The “no rainbows” thing must be going around this week – seems as if it’s been a hard week for a lot of the bloggers I read. Myself included. Psalm 61 has been echoing in my heart – He is our Rock and our shelter!
I’m so very sorry. My dad died last May so I’ve been there recently. Same scenario, late 70’s, poor health, but still a shock.
I enjoy following your blog even though I don’t know if I’ve ever commented. Thanks for sharing your life with us.
Oh Stefanie–you are definitely in my prayers. I’m so sorry about your dad.
Praying for you as well Stefanie. I’m so sorry you’re hurting. I know the pain because my Dad died when I was 19. God knows your every need and lean on Him during this time. You have a lot going on right now. I’ll be praying God works it all out as only He can.
Praying that you see rainbows soon. Moving is so hard, add to the mix kids, doctors appts. and new schools…. hang in there.
Stefanie,
I am so sorry to hear about your father. I know this must be a tough time for you.
Know that your family will be in our prayers.
Tracy
Loving you and praying for you from the western side of the states!!!! How I wish I lived close enough to lend a hand and to give you a great big hug.
You can do it girl!
Fondly,
Anna
Oh my gosh Stef. I am holding you SO close right now, remembering you in prayer. You know how to reach me, I am here, always, anytime.
You also don’t know me. I am a friend of Jana’s in Kentucky. Your blog has lightened my day so many times. During these difficult times, know that you are thought of often. You and your family are in my prayers.
Lisa P.
my prayers and hugs are with you today friend.
Sorry for your loss
Tami
Noah’s Mommy
http://www.tillGodbringsthemhome.blogspot.com
Praying for your family~
I’m so sorry about your Dad. Losing someone is the hardest thing I know. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. The sunshine and rainbows will return. In the meantime, be easy on yourself.
Dearest Stefanie,
We are so very saddened to learn of the loss of your father. Please know that your whole family will be in our thoughts and prayers in the days ahead.
Love,
Joe and Jennifer K.
Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you at the time. It’s hard to keep going at times like this but try to take comfort in the knowledge that he is home now with the Lord.
Bless you all.
Dear Stefanie and family,
So sorry for the loss of your Dad/Grandpa. Mine is gone too and I know what you are feeling, very normal and so I am sending you huge HUGS today. I think of you alot lately as I miss your blog updates and I wondered how things were going. Sorry that you have so much to deal with right now, not fun but you are capable with the Lord carrying you. Hugs to you all, you are in our thoughts daily. Prayers send your way from CA today…and tomorrow…
Hugs, hugs, hugs.
I am so sorry for you loss. Our prayers will be with you….
Alice
Another AF wife…who has adopted from China (stationed in Delaware)
Sorry for your loss!
Please don’t be so hard on yourself. We moms tend to do that way to much. You are amazing and have been such an example to so many people through your adoptions…I am one of them!
I will be praying for you. Hope your rainbows return soon!
Sincerely,
Heather in TN
Hello
You don’t know me, but I followed your journey to Shepherd and have continued with your blog. I really felt compelled to comment today on your issues you are having. I lost my father 8 years ago and my mother 2 years ago. My dad was 70 and he went into the hospital for a virus so we thought and 3 days later he was dead. All at the same time, my mother had found out she had stage 4 cancer. The reason I tell you this, is that even though you feel sad right now and even as the days go by, you will still experience the sadness, but it will get much better. I found thinking about things that my dad would do, the silly things. I found comfort in that. It was at that time also, that I formed a much better relationship with God and found that he will get you through this. Some think I am crazy, but I remember vividly that after he died my brother, sister and I went into the room, he was laying on the bed and the room had sort of a glow to it, a yellow/white glow and at that moment my tears dried completely up. Knowing that he is in heaven also helped me get through this. If your dad was like mine, he would not want you to be miserable and upset, he would want you to know that he is in heaven and its the best place.
Nothing can ever prepare you for some situations and they seem that much worse when you having house problems as well. Just breath deep, take it one day at a time and you will make it through.
Although we don’t know each other I follow along with all your adoptions and wonderful (aka: busy) family adventures. We too are adopting from China and can’t wait for the day our family is complete. I totally understand how the “little things” (with the house etc.) can add up to overwelming. We just found out today that our backyard is SINKING! Yes, we have a 4 foot deep sinkhole big enough to swallow our kids!! So my heart goes out to you today; both for the stress you are feeling with the loss of your Dad, the move, the kids…..well everything! I hope your rainy days turn sunny again soon. đŸ™‚
So sorry for your loss Stefanie. I always pray for your family, but will add something extra for you until you are feeling happy and strong again.
Hugs,
Maureen
So sorry for your loss. Keeping you and your family in thought and prayer.
I am sending you the biggest of hugs, Stefanie. You have been in my thoughts and prayers so much lately because I know you have so much on your plate. I am so, so sorry to hear about your father. I lost mine a year ago last week and I know how deep the pain is right now. God will give you the strength to get through this. Please know that I am thinking of you and lifting you and your family up in prayer.
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. I have followed your blog for a while and you are truly an inspiration to me. I have a 4 year old daughter from China and we are currently in the process of adopting our son who is 3 years old. Please dont be too hard on yourself. Change is diffcult for everyone. We will keep ya’ll in our prayers.
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I am praying that you might find peace and comfort as you go through the coming days and weeks. You’ve got a lot going on now, but hang in there. Stay focused on the One who calms the storm and take it one day at a time.
So, so sorry about your Dad.
Praying that the rainbows are there for you tomorrow!
Hi, from an internet friend in the Atlanta area. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through so much right now. You are in my prayers right now for comfort and strength to make it through this difficult time.
Praying,
Tammy
I will keep you in our prayer- I am so sorry for your loss. I don’t write to you often on your blogg but check you site daily! hang in there and remember God is with you!
My deepest condolences to you and your family.
Oh, Stephanie, you have been on my mind lately, and now I know why…praying for you and sending many hugs your way~
Dear Stefanie,
You have been and will remain in my prayers as you endure your cross daily. My dad passed away 3.13.07, although we knew it was coming…the time of “final” hits us all even when we know what we believe. What has helped me in my life since his death is to pray to God through the intercession of my dad. He can and has helped me while he has been in heaven much more than he ever was able to do on earth. He is whole and complete in God now as your dad is too…Beg your dad and God to help you out NOW!!! A prayer I use often and especially when I don’t have much energy for anything else is to “breath in and say Jesus and breath out and say Mercy” over and over trusting that God will give me inner peace and all that I need…My prayers are with you…know that you are loved and cared for…Love and Prayers Sister Kim, OSB
Stefanie,
Just wanted to let you know that you and your precious family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Charlene
Oh Stefanie. When I read the words you Dad had died, I wanted to wrap my arms around you. I too lost my Dad very suddenly only a few months prior to his 76th birthday. We later learned he passed into the arms of his heavenly Father on the exact day our daughter was born across the world.
I’m so very very sorry all this seems to have hit at once for you. I know our grief is selfish as our Dad’s do indeed have a perfect and whole body and are enjoying the Glory of our almighty King face to face. We are still here, and the hole in your heart will always be a reminder of your love for your precious Dad. What would we do without the knowledge of eternal security during such times??!
May the Peace only He can give blanket you during these darkest hours.
With love in Him.
S.
Hi there, I read your blog occasionally, but you don’t know me. I am sorry you are going through such a hard time. You and your family are in my prayers and thoughts.
Sharon
so sorry for your loss and will be praying for you and your family. hugs, mimi
Oh girl. I am so sorry for your loss.
Acts 17:28
‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’
God is sufficient. My prayer is that you KNOW THIS TO BE TRUE when you get to the other side of this difficult stretch.
Praying! Hugs!
Hi Stefanie,
I’m sorry this is all happening to you at once. Will be thinking of you back here in Ga.
Jenny G.
Stephanie and gang,
Our prayers for your strength and courage as you face the unexpected and the unpredictable path through grief. Take time alone, for yourself, and for your family. Rest, eat well and give yourself time to understand this new path. Certainly your plate was full even before the loss of your Dad, the move, the new additions, trips to Iowa and China. Take the time you need and know many, many folks are praying for you and your family as you face these challenges. Hold onto the knowledge that there will light at the end of the grieving process soon enough. You will get there!
Kathleen
CCAI Gr 607 and 1091
I am so sorry about your dad. My dad passed away a month ago and OMG it is so hard. My mom passed away in Sept and knowing he is with my mom helps but I wish they were still both here with me and my kids.
Sending big hugs and prayers.
Diana
Hey Steph & Chris – as always you are in our prayers and thoughts. We have been away this week, on vacation – I got the chance to see my dad for six of those days, the first time since his heart attack this summer. I got to make him a birthday cake for his 76th on Monday. When it came time to say goodbye today I broke down in tears. I am very afraid it will be the last time I might see him. So long way short, I feel for you in your sadness and loss. Its a hard time of our lives when we realize that those people who have cared so long for us will be leaving soon, or have just left. While there are better things to come, there is no replacing their support and advice. So, take a moment, breathe deeply, relax and know that God's plan is still working in your life. You will never be given more than you can handle – All the best, Stacy (& Bruce)
I’m so sorry, Stefanie. I don’t know what’s harder than losing a parent. You’re in my heart right now.
Stefanie:
Keeping you in my prayers and I’m so very sorry about your loss. I lost my own Dad several years ago so I know first-hand that empty feeling. To this day, I STILL find myself wanting to call him to share some bit of news or to ask his advice. Love to you as you weather this storm.
jana
Oh Stephanie, I wish I lived closer, I would give you big huge hugs but more importantly would help you out with the day to day stuff.
I am so sorry to hear about your father. I will say a special prayer for your family.
I’ve told you before that I don’t know how you do it. I pray that God gives you the strength you need to get through ALL of the issues that you listed. Just take them one day at a time. Hang in there and know that we are all behind you to lift you up!
Even super heros have to fly through the clouds sometimes! Praying for your rainbow!
I am so sorry for the loss of your father. My thoughts are with you.
My deepest sympathies on the loss of your father, Stefanie. Wow, your plate has sure been full these past few months!! I admire your stamina, and your sead fast faith. You’re such an inspiration!I hope you and your family are settling comfortably into your new home, and things are calming down, at least a bit, for you.
Shepherd’s feet look great!
As always, you’re in my prayers. Wishing you much peace, and sending hugs!
Tami
Stephanie,
I am another adoptive mom and although we have never met, I follow your life through this blog. You give me great strength and encouragement in parenting (ie. if she can handle 8, surely I can handle 4!) I wish now that I could give a little strength back. I am praying for you and your family. The storm will pass.
God Bless,
Heather
Oh, gosh, Stefanie. I just checked your site and what a shock. I am so very sorry. I pray that the Lord wraps you all in His love as you grieve the loss of your father.
Much love from Florida,
Mary Rodin et al (from Guangzhou 6/07 when you traveled for Jude…us for Sophie!).
Oh Stefanie! I am so sorry to hear that! You were on my heart all weekend, now I know why. God bless you. I know its hard. You are going to make it. You are such a special person, and our whole family loves you!
I’m so sorry about your dad. I will continue to pray for you. Big, big hug!
trina
Oh Stef… I am praying for you sister!! I know that feeling of exhaustion and one-thing-after-the-other… go read my post today, it’s about delighting in God and He in us. I am going through a “rainy” time here too and God has really been using it to wash away what I had been clinging to. He is all you need!
Here is a verse I hope encourages you: Psalm 61:2
From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
So sorry about your dad!! Praying for you and your whole family.
Hugs and prayers for you and your family.
Sorry to hear this. I know that this was a couple of weeks ago, but I know that the pain is probably still there. Praying for you and your family today.