Adoption is such a journey.
Twists and turns. Highs and lows. Joy and sorrow.
Sometimes both in one day.
And sometimes both in one hour.
Our precious, beautiful Poppy is doing so well.
She continues to blossom and is such a joy to parent.
Laughing big, hearty, fearless belly laughs.
Feeling safe enough to not only be happy, but to be sad sometimes, too.
And sassy. And silly. And somber.
And on and on.
But sometimes.
Our sweet girl takes a few steps back.
And when I find her asleep by herself, on a chair or even sometimes on the floor, my heart just breaks.
I am reminded that this was probably how she fell asleep for the first 20 months of her life.
Alone. On her own.
And although it might have been ‘normal’ for an orphanage, well… it’s not okay around here.
So I grab her up and snuggle her close to me, brush the dark hair out of her still-closed eyes, and say a prayer of thanksgiving that our sweet Poppy will never, ever be alone again.
There are millions of orphans world-wide who are falling asleep all alone tonight. If you have it on your heart to adopt but have questions about the process – especially about the China program – feel free to contact me. My email is linked from the right sidebar.
This post left big ole’ tears welled up in my eyes! It’s so true. The times my heart breaks the biggest to hurry up and get to our Ruby is when our little Perry is sad, hurt, or sick. I can’t help but think of all the little ones that don’t have a Mommy to scoop them up and cuddle them, or get them an ice-pack, or hold their hair up when they are sick. Every child deserves a Mommy. So thankful Poppy has such a beautiful one! xoxo Brooke
I’m choking back tears. Your darling daughter is so precious. I’m so glad to see her home. 🙂 Our two little angels will be sleeping alone for a little while longer but we’re working hard to get them home. 🙂 You, my dear, inspired me/us to adopt. I will always remember the night I asked the Lord what our purpose was and to show me. The next morning I stumbled upon your blog and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I bawled through post after post. 🙂 Poppy is one beautiful blessed little girl. 🙂
She is the sweetest little thing ever!
So glad that she will never be alone again!
Oh, Stefani, I know what you mean when you say that something might have been “normal” for our sweeties in their past life, but not now – now they have a mama and papa and oodles of brothers and sisters to scoop them up and to love on them. You are one lucky mama! We hope to be leaving next week for our sweet Ji-Ji!
So true. We experience the same kinds of set backs from time to time even still. And I find myself making mistakes along the way as well. Forgetting how much is still new to her, how much she is still learning. Thankful for other mommas out there like you that help remind me to be patient.
Amen. Snuggle them long and often.
I love your heart for adoption. And how open you are about the process. Along with the ups and the downs. My husband and I have a heart for adoption. I’m ready to start our family now (and I’m not at the same time!) but I know it’s not yet time. God will make it clear when it is. And then we’ll begin fosterings and working with families to reunify and then eventually adopt. I’m a social worker, and my husband has worked in group homes and inpatient facilities. So we know the need and know we’ll one day fulfill it. Until then, I love reading about other’s experiences. It reminds me that it is the path we need to take.
Beautiful words and a beautiful reminder of what love can do…. Even stunning, in her sleep!
Love,
Diana
I love this ~ this is what it’s all about. She is SO precious. 🙂
I love your heart, just love it!
Stefanie, please help me!!! I have had adoption on my heart for a couple years now–especially the past year. My husband–after years of saying no, finally agreed–and then I chickened out. He’s back to saying no–but it’s not a solid no. Would you please email me–I can’t get your email button to work. We are 43 years old with three teenagers and have so many reservations about “starting all over again”.
Robin Green
ps. We are an AF family, as well. Hubby is instructor pilot.
Robin,
Your situation sounds very similar to ours. We had 3 teens when we adopted a 9 month old daughter! Now we’re in the process of doing it again! We get funny looks sometimes….ok, most of the time, but I’ve never been much of a conformist. Currently, my husband and I are 46 with an almost 21 year old (her birthday is next week), a 19 year old, a 16 year old, and a 4 year old who is anxiously awaiting her “little” sister. (We’re hoping for a 3-4 year old.)
Feel free to email me if you want to hear more about our story. I used to get really overwhelmed with, “when she’s 16, I’ll be older than dirt” but God gently reminded me not to worry about tomorrow. So, I try not to think too far in the future. I just ask myself, “Can you care for and love this child with all you have TODAY?” And the answer is always a resounding YES!!
I hate to think of the blessings that we would’ve missed if we had ignored the call to adopt our precious little one.
Thank you, Angie.
Robin – I’m a reluctant husband – have been for two of the three adoptions we made – yeah – only 2 of the 3 – and I can’t explain that either. There are tons of us out there (I think most all of us dad’s are rh’s – even if we keep that hidden!) I’d be happy to hook up with him if you’d like – he can reach me at aussie @ fuse. net But I will say this – adoption is a whole different kind of parenting. It is – thats the reality. If – in fact – in his heart of hearts he isn’t called to be and adoptive father – I’ll support him in that 110%. That said – being an adoptive Dad is absolutly the most rewarding thing I’ve done as a father!
hugs – aus and co.
Thank you, aus and co.
Aus, you are the best 🙂 Wish I could squeeze your neck!
Maybe you could do a post or series of posts about reluctant husbands? Would be more than happy to post it here!
Jumping in to add: We are “older” ADOPTIVE parents as well,we have a 31, 30, 26, 24 and 22yr old. Add to that 6 grandkids from 7yrs old to 10mos. We are Grandparents and a NEW PARENTS!!! We just finalized the adoption of our 4yr old on Nov 18 in conjunction with NATIONAL ADOPTION MONTH. This child was truly a blessing to all of us. You have some fine examples from Stefanie, Aus and Co, and many other wonderful blogging AF’s. They inspire, uplift and bless me tremendously.
At the age of 43, our family had the opportunity to adopt a 2 and half year old boy domestically. We had already been waiting several years for a girl from China. We didn’t really think we would ever get her. We did adopt the boy. A year later they called to say that we were 9 months out from getting our girl. I was 46 when we received Rosie. I will be almost 47 when we go back to China sometime between June and August to get a three year old boy we have named Wesley. All I can say is, “DO IT”. The joy is unspeakable. Our children’s age will range from 14.5 to almost 2.
robrent@bellsouth.net
She is so precious. Amazingly, breathtakingly precious.
I’m so thankful for woman and families like your’s that are leading the way. Setting an example of love and sacrifice! I know on the goods days you are paid back, but on the hard days I hope you know what an impact you are making. Bless you Stefanie and your sweet little angel, Poppy.
I want to adopt, but my husband has no desire to have children at this point. He says he is too old (53) and wants to retire and work at a lesser paying job that he would enjoy doing. I am 48. We have been married for 7 years and have fertility issues. We talked about having children before we were married and even took foster parent classes with the hope of adopting, but we never became licensed for several reasons (unexpected surgery, etc). Now, hubby seems to have slammed the door shut, while I still dream about being a mom. I try not to be bitter because he doesn’t want children, but sometimes I am. The other issue is money. We can afford to adopt, but it would probably wipe out most of our cash savings and he is against that as well. It’s hard for me to understand how anyone can afford to adopt 2 or more children from China unless they are wealthy, but it seems to happen all the time by ordinary people with big hearts. Any suggestions, other than to just hang in there and enjoy the life we have?
I wish they all had someone to snuggle with like Poppy:) These little ones go through so much and they are so so brave. They are my heroes.
Morning Stef – what you just posted – it’s one of the most rewarding parts of being an adoptive parent. For some reason with our bio kids I didn’t ‘get’ the need to make the time it took to do just that. With our adopted kids I DO ‘get it’ – and like you – taking that 5 minutes to snuggle one – to climb into bed with one that’s had a ‘bad dream’ – to ‘understand’ that need for one more snack 10 minutes after bedtime because “they are soooo hungry” – to meet that need….it’s just rewarding as it gets!
Thanks for sharing that….
hugs – aus and co.
We are ready. (Heck I was ready 3 years ago) Husband FINALLY said yes. Found the agency we want to go with… and found our boy on their special needs list!! 🙂 Can’t figure out how to pay for it. 🙁
Looking at it from all angles. Hate to go into debt… Where there is a will there’s a way, right?
Any and all suggestions welcome!!
Please pray for us.
Karrie in southern Indiana
Beautifully written. It doesn’t get any better than a sleeping child in your arms. What most of these precious children endured is just unfathomable. May Poppy forever feel the comfort and protection of a loving home and wonderful family.
.
Beautiful baby.
And beautiful mama.
Thank you for your example.
You are such an inspiration.
I am still praying for my husband’s heart to soften.
I am certain our daughter is waiting for us in China.
I left a piece of my heart there when we moved back to the States this summer from Hong Kong.
Love & Blessings,
Kim
Oh Stef ~ this totally made me cry. I know the moments of sweeping your baby up in your arms, wiping the hair back from her eyes and just snuggling her close while saying a prayer over her and giving thanks to God above for allowing her to be part of your family …I know exactly what that’s all about! A tender and emotional moment, indeed.
I will always have such great admiration for you, as the example you are as a mom, wife, and advocate for the orphans. You have touched my life over the past few years in more ways than you could possibly know.
Love & Hugs,
~Tanya
Love
this
post…
and sweet ol’ Poppy.
And you.
The end.
Such a precious girlie. She looks content and happy and safe, even in her sleep. What a blessing!
Wishing you all a beautiful Christmas season!
All the best,
Nicole A., now in LA